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Application for a job when you saw advertised in newspaper

Application for a job when you saw advertised in newspaper 2KBwk
Dear Madam I am writing to apply for a job an teacher at your school which I saw advertised in "Today's"newspaper. I am fourthy years old and I feel I have many of the important qualification needed for this job. I am presently working as a library assistant. I have been for the last ten years. In addition to this, I participate in information technology course. I am proactive employee. I enjoy several outdoors activities such as planting flowers, gardening, cooking and swimming. I am sociable and I get on well with new people easily. I am enthusiastic and energetic employee and I feel that I am well qualifiedfor this job. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfullyAnorboyeva Diyora.
Dear Madam I am writing to apply for a job
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
teacher at your school which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
advertised in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
newspaper. I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
fourthy
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and I feel I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
qualification needed for this job. I am
presently
working as a library assistant.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have been for the last ten years.
In addition
to this, I participate in information technology course. I
Please check whether an article is missing: "am a proactive" or "am an proactive"
am proactive
employee. I enjoy several outdoors activities such as planting flowers, gardening, cooking and swimming.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am sociable and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
easily
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am enthusiastic and energetic employee and I feel that I am well
Possible spelling mistake found.
qualifiedfor
this job.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
faithfullyAnorboyeva
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diyora
.
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IELTS letter Application for a job when you saw advertised in newspaper

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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