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An application letter about getting a job.

An application letter about getting a job. bYGOX
Dear Mr Steve JobsI am writing to apply for a job from Apple company. I saw advertise in Ice Arena in Samarkand when I went to here with my coursemates. If you do not know, I inform you that I currently work a part-time job as a babysitter after my lessons but I want to work as a designer because I am interested in making or drawing new fashions. I have had experience of creating modern style of computer programs. I hold a degree in IELTS and a certificate as a computer programmer. I think I would be a suitable condidate fof this job because I am energetic, hardworking, patient, responsible and of course a creative girl. I look forward to recieving your response in the near future. Yours sincerelyMss Sabrina.
Dear Mr Steve
Possible spelling mistake found.
JobsI
Did you mean "am I"?
am
writing to apply for a job from Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
advertise in Ice Arena in Samarkand when I
There isn't usually a preposition before "here". Did you mean "went here"?
went to here
with my
Possible spelling mistake found.
coursemates
. If you do not know, I inform you that I
currently
work a part-time job as a babysitter after my lessons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I want to work as a designer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
am interested
in making or drawing new fashions. I have had experience of creating modern style of computer programs. I hold a degree in IELTS and a certificate as a computer programmer.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I would be a suitable
Possible spelling mistake found.
condidate
Possible spelling mistake found.
fof
this job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am energetic, hardworking, patient, responsible and
of course
a creative girl.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
look forward to
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieving
your response in the near future. Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
sincerelyMss
Sabrina.
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IELTS letter An application letter about getting a job.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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