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Advice to my friend on Camping trip

Advice to my friend on Camping trip x2AQg
Dear John, Remember you asked me about what it like to go on camping at susan’s Birthday party last night? But I was a little busy at that time and I decided to write this letter in response to your concerns. You know that I used to go on camping every weekend and it was the best time I ever spend away from work and all the other life burdens. This Summer seems to be the best time to go on a trip as it has hardly rained this season and it’s safe to say that it would be easier to set up a good fire with dried up wood which can be easily found nearby. So for you I would highly recommend camping for this summer vacation because anywhere you go I’m sure the view of nature and the smell of fresh air will relax you to the core. But u have to be aware of certain things when you go on a trip like this as there will be limited resources with you and most of the time there won’t be anyone else to provide you with extra food or water. So make sure you take plenty of food, water and other stuff needed to set up the camp. If you are thinking of camping in a deep forest you might have sleep with one eye opened as wild animals like bears and wolves might come to visit you. So with my experience in camping if you want I can take a time off of my work and come with you to your camping trip as I myself know a few places with great views where we can setup camp. Also you might have the great pleasure of learning some tips and hacks I have learned during my trips to the wild so that the next time you come on a camping trip you will be able to setup everything and enjoy the journey on your own. If you’d like to have me joined in your trip give me a heads up at least a week before so that I can get my camping gear ready in advance. Yours faithfully, Dolitha
Dear John,

Remember you asked me about what it like to go on camping at
Possible spelling mistake found.
susan
’s Birthday party last night?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
busy at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and I decided to write this letter in response to your concerns.

You know that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go on camping every weekend and it was the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I ever spend away from work and all the other life burdens. This Summer seems to be the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to go on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
as it has hardly rained this season and it’s safe to say that it would be easier to set up a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
fire with dried up wood which can be
easily
found nearby.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
for
Consider adding a comma here.
you
I would
highly
recommend camping for this summer vacation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
anywhere you go I’m sure the view of nature and the smell of fresh air will relax you to the core.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
u
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be aware of certain things when you go on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
like this as there will
be limited
resources with you and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
there won’t be anyone else to provide you with extra food or water.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure you take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of food, water and other stuff needed to set up the camp. If you are thinking of camping in a deep forest you might have sleep with one eye opened as wild animals like bears and wolves might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit you.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with my experience in camping if you want I can take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off of my work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with you to your camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
as I myself know a few places with great views where we
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
can setup
camp.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
you might have the great pleasure of learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tips and hacks I have learned during my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trips
to the wild
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
on a camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
you will be able
The verb 'set up' is spelled as two words. The noun 'setup' is spelled as one.
to setup
everything and enjoy the journey on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

If you’d like to have me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
give me a heads up at least a week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my camping gear ready in advance.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Dolitha
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IELTS letter Advice to my friend on Camping trip

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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