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A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum.

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. jxgM
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter in response to a recent vacancy announcement at your museum in which you have asked for people to do part-time voluntary or unpaid work. I would like to work for your museum as a volunteer, and I am hoping that you would give me the opportunity. I am interested in availing this great opportunity because I think that it would allow me to learn some great skills to have a better career in the future. Besides, it would also help me understand many important parts of my country’s history which I would probably never know otherwise. Regarding my skills, I have good computer skill, and I also know how to work well in a team environment with other people. Besides, I have also taken an art history class in high school before to help me understand and appreciate the value of artworks. On top of that, I also live close to your museum which would really make it easy for me to commute. So, if you choose to hire me for this voluntary position, I will work hard to add value to your team. I am available to work every day from 7: 00 am to 8: 00 pm except on Sunday, and if you decide to hire me, I can start right away. I am hoping to hear a positive response from you. Yours faithfully, Joseph Myer
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter in response to a recent vacancy announcement at your museum in which you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do part-time voluntary or unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I would like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for your museum as a volunteer, and I am hoping that you would give me the opportunity.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am interested
in availing this great opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to have a better career in the future.
Besides
, it would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me understand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts of my country’s history which I would
probably
never know
otherwise
.

Regarding my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, and I
also
know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
well in a team environment with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Besides
, I have
also
taken an art history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in high school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me understand and appreciate the value of artworks.
On top of that
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
close to your museum which would
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easy for me to commute.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if you choose to hire me for this voluntary position, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
value to your team.

I am available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
every day from 7: 00 am to 8: 00 pm except on Sunday, and if you decide to hire me, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
right away.

I am hoping to hear a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from you.

Yours
faithfully
,

Joseph
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myer
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IELTS letter A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
236 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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