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A local college want people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to do this. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter • Explain what you would like to talk about • Say why students would be interested in your job • Suggest a possible date and time for the talk

A local college want people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to do this. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter • Explain what you would like to talk about • Say why students would be interested in your job • Suggest a possible date and time for the talk 6Gn3
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to get the permission to talk to your students regarding a job opportunity. So i will be pleased to to get some good time with your students and get to know what time this will be appropriate for conducting this job fair. I would like to talk mainly about having a part-time job while studying which will be a great asset for the students. Not only an asset but also they can improve their knowledge of socializing and communicating with others with greater confidence. I will explain about the job and responsibilities later when i get the chance to talk with your students. I assume students will be thrilled about this great opportunity to attain this experience and also the income they will be getting through this part-time job. They can spend this money for their tuition as well as their other expenses without giving hard time to their parents. For this to happen, i need your full support and one full day to conduct this job fair. I am pretty much confident that you and the students wont be disappointed after this. For me, this coming Monday 22nd 2021 morning 10 am would be great but i need confirmation from your side. I hope you will be okey with this schedule. Thanking You. Yours Faithfully, XYZ
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the permission to talk to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
regarding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "I"?
i
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know what time this will be appropriate for conducting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. I would like to talk
mainly
about having a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while studying which will be a great asset for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an asset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge of socializing and communicating with others with greater confidence. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and responsibilities later when
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to talk with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I assume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
be thrilled
about this great opportunity to attain this experience and
also
the income they will be getting through this part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. They can spend this money for their tuition
as well
as their other expenses without giving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
time to their parents. For this to happen,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
need your full support and one full day to conduct this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
. I am pretty much confident that you and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
be disappointed
after this. For me, this coming Monday 22nd 2021 morning 10 am would be great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
need confirmation from your side. I hope you will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
okey
with this schedule.

Thanking You. Yours
Faithfully
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
XYZ
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IELTS letter A local college want people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to do this. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter • Explain what you would like to talk about • Say why students would be interested in your job • Suggest a possible date and time for the talk

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
225 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • A local college want people with a job to come and talk to students about what it is like to work. You would like to do this. Write a letter to the principal of the college. In your letter • Explain what you would like to talk about • Say why students would be interested in your job • Suggest a possible date and time for the talk