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A letter for university which is being organized Master's courses

A letter for university which is being organized Master's courses 70B7k

Dear Sir I am writing with regarding to a rejection for my application for the Master's course of your university which I sent an email to your address on the University's website a week ago. It seems to me that there is some misunderstandings between us. Firstly, I am going to ask some information about your receiving score on IELTS which requires from students. When I observed your advertisement on the Internet, there was no points about exact score for reception just only mentioned high score on IELTS. Hence I thought that my results would be appropriate for you. Secondly, I need some detailed information about your requisition of Master's course. According to this, I am going to format my necessary documents with full version in order not to face such problems which can be exhausting from formality. Lastly, I would appreciate it if you could help me with finding a suitable course which is organized in your university that is beneficial for improving my knowledge and score in order to get higher than my level for admission to any of Master's courses. All in all, I would be grateful, you could clarify your reasons to your denial for my request with certain details. I am looking forward to hearing from you as soon as possible. In order to contact me, I presented my email address and phone numbers. Your faithfully, Mohigul

Dear Sir I am writing with The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".regardingregard to
regarding to
 a rejection for my application for the Master's You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
 of your university which I Consider using "emailed".emailed
sent an email to
 your address on the University's website a week ago. It seems to me that there is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 misunderstandings between us. Firstly
, I am going to ask This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 information about your receiving You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcountaccountgradeamountaveragetally
score
 on IELTS which requires from students. When I observed your advertisement on the Internet, Did you mean "there were no points"?there were no points
there was no points
 about exact You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcountaccountgradeamountaveragetally
score
 for reception This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 mentioned high You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcountaccountgradeamountaveragetally
score
 on IELTS. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Hence,
Hence
 I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonedassumedbelievedconsidered
thought
 that my results would be appropriate for you. Secondly
, I need This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 detailed information about your requisition of Master's You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
. According to this, I am going to format my necessary documents with full version in order not to face such problems which can be exhausting from formality. Lastly
, I would appreciate it if you could This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 me with finding a suitable You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
course
 which is organized
 in your university that is
 beneficial for improving my knowledge and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcountaccountgradeamountaveragetally
score
 in order to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 higher than my level for admission to any of Master's You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdevelopmentseriessystemprogramplanway
courses
. All in all, I would be grateful, you could clarify your reasons to your denial for my request with certain This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :particulars
details
. I am looking forward to hearing from you as This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
 as possible. In order to contact me, I presented my email address and phone numbers. Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)Yours
Your
faithfully
, Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphMohigul.Mohigul!Mohigul?Mohigul:Mohigul,Mohigul;
Mohigul