Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing in connection with the day-long meeting that we organised at your hotel - "The Richmond", on 28th January 2020. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for successfully hosting us, and also express our concern about the food quality, which we expect would be better in the future.
Two days ago, I took feedback from the participants who joined the meeting. Although they liked the hotel, including its facilities and the services of your affable staff, many of them complained about the food we were served. Indeed, some of the menu items that were served during the lunch were not properly cooked and we did not enjoy the taste and aroma of the food. Soup and bread were served cold and that was unexpected. The lack of western food items on the menu was surprising to some of the participants.
I believe you should take steps so that all the dishes are cooked properly and served in time. I also recommend that you add some western dishes to your menu.
I wish you a good day and hope that that you will consider my suggestions.
Yours faithfully,
Brian Marsh
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing in connection with the day-long meeting that we  
organised
 at your hotel  
-
  "
The Richmond 
"
, on 28th January 2020. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for  
successfully
 hosting us, and  
also
 express our concern about the  
food
 quality, which we  
expect
 would be better in the future.
Two days ago, I took feedback from the participants who  
joined
 the meeting. Although they liked the hotel, including its facilities and the services of your affable staff,  
many
 of them complained about the  
food
 we  
were served
.  
Indeed
,  
some of the
 menu items that  
were served
 during the lunch were not  
properly
  cooked and
 we did not enjoy the taste and aroma of the  
food
. Soup and bread  
were served
  cold
 and that  
was unexpected
. The lack of western  
food
 items on the menu was surprising to  
some of the
 participants.
I believe you should take steps  
so
 that all the dishes  
are cooked
  properly
 and served in time. I  
also
 recommend that you  
add
  some
 western dishes to your menu. 
I
 wish you a  
good
 day and hope  
that that
 you will consider my suggestions.
Yours  
faithfully
,
Brian Marsh
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes