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A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

Dear Ann, Hope you are doing well. I am really glad that you are planning for a camping trip for the first time. I am writing this letter to give you some advices that you have asked for. You will enjoy this camping trip because it gives you the opportunity to see the scenic beauty of nature. Moreover, it reduces stress and anxiety that you are having in your professional life. I know you are interested in wildlife observation, so you can also go for a birdwatching to know more about different species of birds. Camping trip has lot of fun and excitement however there are some disadvantages. Firstly, you might experience extreme hot, especially in the afternoons. Secondly, you would face bug bites which is common during this journey. I would like to accompany with you for this camping trip, but unfortunately I have some other plans for this summer. I already enrolled for a summer course which is essential for my career development. I hope you consider my suggestions and wishing you a happy and safe trip. Yours lovingly, Sona
Dear Ann,

Hope you are doing well. I am
really
glad that you are planning for a camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
for the
first
time. I am writing this letter to give you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advices that you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
.

You will enjoy this camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives you the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the scenic beauty of nature.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety that you are having in your professional life. I know you
are interested
in wildlife observation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can
also
go for a birdwatching to know more about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species of birds.

Camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
has
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
fun and excitement
however
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Firstly
, you might experience extreme hot,
especially
in the afternoons.
Secondly
, you would face bug bites which is common during this journey.

I would like to
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompany by".
accompany with
you for this camping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other plans for this summer. I already enrolled for a summer course which is essential for my career development.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope you consider my suggestions and wishing you a happy and safe trip.

Yours
lovingly
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sona
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IELTS letter A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer