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A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. do you agree all disagree?

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. do you agree all disagree? 0AwE9
High Salary is of prime importance in choosing a Job. As it will help to fulfil the needs and live a luxurious life. But job satisfaction will lead to productivity of work and maintain the healthy lifestyle. However, it is individual choice to go for high salaries with equal responsibilities or with the Job Satisfaction. I disagree that high salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Obviously, Money is the necessity of the life but whenever the high pay offer by an employer, it will come with high-level of duties and accountability. Therefore, working environment under the huge pressure lead the unhealthy lifestyle and disbalance the appetite. Of course, Bank balance is gradually increasing but on other hand no time to spend with family or get in touch with relatives, friends. Due to increased workload, it impact on physically and mentally health as there will lack of physical exercise and relaxation. However, with the Job satisfaction where people have the work-life balanced environment, and they enjoy the work culture as well as personal life with their family and spend leisure time for their hobbies and other activity such as, physical exercise, meditation, Yoga which can lead to physical and mentally health. These all will help to be more productive in their work environment where they can achieve the appreciation. In the last, I would say that health is the only wealth. If people are maintaining the work-life balance by scheduling their dedicative time for work and their personal life with healthy lifestyle is always better than life under high pressure and stress as the Job satisfaction leads to life satisfaction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
Salary is of prime importance in choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
. As it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to fulfil the needs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and maintain the healthy lifestyle.
However
, it is individual choice to go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salaries with equal responsibilities or with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Satisfaction
. I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.

Obviously
, Money is the necessity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
whenever the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pay offer by an employer, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with high-level of duties and accountability.
Therefore
, working environment under the huge pressure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
the unhealthy lifestyle and
Possible spelling mistake found.
disbalance
the appetite.
Of course
, Bank balance is
gradually
increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on other hand no time to spend with family or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with relatives, friends. Due to increased workload, it
Did you mean "impacts"?
impact
on
physically
and mentally health as there will lack of physical exercise and relaxation.

However
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the work-life balanced environment, and they enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
culture
as well
as personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their family and spend leisure time for their hobbies and other activity such as, physical exercise, meditation, Yoga which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to physical and mentally health. These all will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to be more productive in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment where they can achieve the appreciation.

In the last, I would say that health is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wealth. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are maintaining the work-life balance by scheduling their
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedicative
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with healthy lifestyle is always better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
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IELTS letter A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. do you agree all disagree?

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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