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1 Inviting your foreign friend for a traditional celebration

1 Inviting your foreign friend for a traditional celebration QLxWX
Dear John, Hey, it's been a long time, how are you doing? As I was busy with my work, I forgot to keep in touch with you. However, I wish to compensate for it. I came with a great idea to invite you to my country for the Onam celebration, which is a south Indian festival that is to be celebrating on the coming month that is on June 20th. The Onam is celebrated on two days. First day is for the childrens, also known as pillaronam. then the next day we malayalees celebrate our thiruonam which means the main day. It is a traditional event with a plethora of fun and it would be a mesmerizing memory for you, as you always wish to be a part of traditional events. Onam is well known for its "sadya", which is lunch. Furthermore, Sadya consists of 21 food varieties which end with desserts. As we were blossom friends I knew that you are a blogger and traveller you like to visit new places, it would be a great experience for you. So I wish you to participate in this event. I will feel jubilant if you will be here, anyway the ball is in your court. I hope that you will be able to make it happens
Dear John,

Hey, it's been a long time, how are you doing? As I was busy with my work, I forgot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with you.
However
, I wish to compensate for it. I came with a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to invite you to my country for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onam
celebration, which is a south Indian festival
that is
to be celebrating on the coming month
that is
on June 20th.

The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onam
is celebrated
on two days.
First
day is for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
,
also
known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
pillaronam
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
the
next
day we
Possible spelling mistake found.
malayalees
celebrate our
Possible spelling mistake found.
thiruonam
which means the main day. It is a traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
with a plethora of fun and it would be a mesmerizing memory for you, as you always wish to be a part of traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onam
is well known for its
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
sadya
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, which is lunch.
Furthermore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sadya
consists of 21 food varieties which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with desserts. As we were blossom friends I knew that you are a blogger and
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
you like to visit new places, it would be a great experience for you.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I wish you to participate in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. I will feel jubilant if you will be here, anyway the ball is in your court.

I hope that you will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it happens
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IELTS letter 1 Inviting your foreign friend for a traditional celebration

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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