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Zoo's most popular exhibits

Zoo's most popular exhibits ra0Q6
The three most popular zoo's exhibitions are the Giant Pandas, Aquarium and Penguin Encounter. Attracting between 150, 00 and 550, 000 people throughout the year. The highest number of visitors is reached in the month of August, while the minimum is in January. It is noticeable an increase of visitors from January to August, but a huge decrease of them from August to November. However, there is a little increase of visitors in December. The Giant Pandas exhibition has the lowest number of visitors on January with 150, 000 versus the highest number of 550, 000 reached on August. Likewise, the Aquarium has around 150, 00 and 200, 000 of visitors on January being this the lowest in contrast of 500, 000 visitors on the eight month of the year. The Penguin Encounter has its peak with 475, 000 aprox being the less popular exhibitions on August. But in December it's the most visited having around 275, 000 people, while Pandas received 250, 000 and the Aquarium less of this number.
The three most popular zoo's exhibitions are the Giant Pandas, Aquarium and Penguin Encounter. Attracting between 150, 00 and 550, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
throughout the year. The highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
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visitors
is reached
in the month of August, while the minimum is in January. It is noticeable an increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
from January to August,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a huge decrease of them from August to November.
However
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
increase of
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visitors
in December. The Giant
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "Pandas'" or "panda's"?
Pandas
exhibition has the lowest
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number
of
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visitors
on January with 150, 000 versus the highest
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number
of 550, 000 reached on August.
Likewise
, the Aquarium has around 150, 00 and 200, 000 of
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visitors
on January being this the lowest
in contrast
of 500, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
on the eight month of the year. The Penguin Encounter has its peak with 475, 000
Possible spelling mistake found.
aprox
being the less popular exhibitions on August.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in December it's the most visited having around 275, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, while Pandas received 250, 000 and the Aquarium less of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
.
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IELTS essay Zoo's most popular exhibits

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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