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“Zoos are inhumane. Do you agree or disagree?”

“Zoos are inhumane. Do you agree or disagree?” 2x3N6
People often visit zoos in their leisure time. Zoos are one of the most exciting mediums where people can enjoy their free time. Many people think that zoos are inhumane but I do not agree with this view. To begin with, in zoos people can see many reserve animals which are already extinct. Predators are hunting animals so that they are becoming extinct. For example, I along with my friends visited a hilly area where we found that two predators were chasing a deer. Therefore, much wildlife is vanishing from our nature. Zoo authorities are taking many steps for reserving animals. For instance, they are being given breeding artificially by those animals. Moreover, zoos are saving animal life by rescuing them. Secondly, zoos are providing food and shelter for the animals. Because of deforestation, many wildlife is surviving for their existence. Furthermore, for searching food animals come into populated areas from time to time. So they are killed by people. But zoos refrain from that type of cruelty and they take care of the animals. For example, last year I visited Bangladesh national zoo, where I saw an animal caregiver was feeding the baby tigers and making love with them. On the other side of the zoo, another caregiver was bathing the horses. I saw nothing inhumanity in there. In the end, zoos are the source of saving wildlife where people can gather knowledge about different types of animals. From the above examples, it is clear that zoos are not inhuman, some people are inhuman indeed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit zoos in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Zoos are one of the most exciting mediums where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that zoos are inhumane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in zoos
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are already extinct. Predators are hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are becoming extinct.
For example
, I along with my friends visited a hilly area where we found that two predators were chasing a deer.
Therefore
, much wildlife is vanishing from our nature. Zoo authorities are taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
steps for reserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For instance
, they are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
breeding
artificially
by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Moreover
, zoos are saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
life by rescuing them.

Secondly
, zoos are providing food and shelter for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of deforestation,
Possible agreement error. The noun wildlife seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much wildlife", "a good deal of wildlife".
many wildlife
is surviving for their existence.
Furthermore
, for searching food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into populated areas from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
are killed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
zoos refrain from that type of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cruelty and
they take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, last year I visited Bangladesh national zoo, where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
caregiver was feeding the baby tigers and making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with them. On the other side of the zoo, another caregiver was bathing the horses. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
nothing inhumanity in there.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, zoos are the source of saving wildlife where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gather knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. From the above examples, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that zoos are not inhuman,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inhuman
indeed
.
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IELTS essay “Zoos are inhumane. Do you agree or disagree?”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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