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Even though doctors believe that fast food is harmful to people's health, more and more people are eating it. What can cause this? How to solve this problem?

Even though doctors believe that fast food is harmful to people's health, more and more people are eating it. What can cause this? How to solve this problem? DqOO6
These days, the number of the people who prefer to eat fast food are increasing. Although doctors believe that, fast food impacts on individuals' health negatively, huamn beings are eating it more and more. In my opinion, even though there are various of factors which lead to this activity, they are not unsolvable. On the one hand, fast food is a thing which can be easily ready to serve and this is the main reason why the majority of individuals prefer it. For instance, especially workers try to find a food which easily get ready to consume, in their little lunch time. They can eat green vegetables, which contain the huge amount of calories, instead consuming harmful junk food. On the other hand, in currently period human beings tend to visit restaurants and clubs where fast food is served, and they find it delicious even knowing it causes main health problems to their organism. Solution for this is that, parents should show their children how not enough ready food is harmful for them and make them more likely to eat home-made meal. In conclusion, parents' factor plays essential role in preventing this problem among children. However, mature individuals should change their attitude to eat while they are searching for food in short time.
These days, the number of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are increasing. Although doctors believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
impacts on individuals' health
negatively
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
huamn
beings are eating it more and more. In my opinion,
even though
there are various of factors which lead to this activity, they are not unsolvable. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is a thing which can be
easily
ready to serve and this is the main reason why the majority of individuals prefer it.
For instance
,
especially
workers try to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ready to consume, in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This word is normally spelled as one.
lunch time
. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
green vegetables, which contain the huge amount of calories,
instead
consuming harmful junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
On the other hand
, in
currently
period human beings tend to visit restaurants and clubs where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is served
, and they find it delicious even knowing it causes main health problems to their organism. Solution for this is that, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their children how not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is harmful for them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
home-made meal.
In conclusion
, parents' factor plays essential role in preventing this problem among children.
However
, mature individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their attitude to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
while they are searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in short time.
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IELTS essay Even though doctors believe that fast food is harmful to people's health, more and more people are eating it. What can cause this? How to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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