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DOES SOCIAL MEDIA HARM RELATIONS

DOES SOCIAL MEDIA HARM RELATIONS K3mk3
Hook: In a world of logrithms, hashtags and followers know the true importance of human connection. Thesis Statement: Social media is a social platform which is making people anti-social. We’ve become so engrossed in technology and media, that at times we become quite oblivious to our surrounding. Introduction: In less than a generation, social media has evolved from direct electronic information exchange. It is the 21st-century marketing tool. Supporting Paragraphs: 1: Smart phones and online social media networks have destroyed relationship and communication between friends and family members. Social media has reduced the rejoice of family gatherings. The users are so addicted to social media that they are inseparable from their phones. People who are always online and active on social media are not mentally available for their family to communicate. They don’t take any interest in family gatherings showing no affection and love in the surroundings even if they are sitting together. This over-usage is the prime cause of gaps between family relationships. “Family is the most important thing in the world. ” -Princess Diana The youngsters do not pay much attention to their parents if they try to tell them to avoid often use of social media. They use social media and try to be in isolation so that they don’t have to listen to advice from parents. The parents in return think that they don’t understand the dimensions of modern social media and technology, therefore, they should not disturb their children. This mindset and misperception resulting from social media have created isolation from family especially in children and parents who do not use or understand social media. 2. The increased use of social media has also increased the divorce rate among couples. A study has found that a 20% annual increase in Facebook enrolment was associated with a 2. 18% to 4. 32% increase in divorce rate. Social media has changed the dynamic of every relation. 3. The use of social media among youth has increased so much from recent times. According to reports, there are 3. 5 billion active users of social media around the globe and 90% of users are youngsters. It means that almost every family today is having at least one social media wizard or witch in their home. This increased use of social media has destroyed communications. People think that as long as they have phones they have no need of face to face communication and this sometimes can result in major conflicts and enemity. All in all, as the social media use is increasing our contact with family and friends is decreasing. Counter Argument: The opponents say that internet and social media is one of the greatest intervention which has brought a lot of advantages like it’s a good source of knowledge, it has constricted the distances, and expand the relationships. They say that it is a good medium for artists and the use of social media depends on how you use it. Refude: Excess of everything is bad and this increased use of social media has made everyone nomophobic everyone is so indulged in phones that they don’t know what exactly is going around them. This social media is bringing people closer to us who are far away but, it is taking us away from those who are sitting next to us. Conclusion: From the above discussion it’s concluded that social media affect relationships by reducing face to face communication and interactions. It should be used to improve relations by limiting its use. Life needs to give attention over the people you are with instead of scrolling memes and posts. Erik Qualman says: “We should not let social media engagement destroy precious family relationships. ”
Hook:

In a world of
Possible spelling mistake found.
logrithms
, hashtags and followers know the true importance of human connection.

Thesis Statement:

Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform which is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
anti-social. We’ve become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
engrossed in technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, that at times we become quite oblivious to our surrounding.

Introduction:

In less than a generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has evolved from direct electronic information exchange. It is the 21st-century marketing tool.

Supporting Paragraphs:

1:

Smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
networks have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'rejoice' is correct. If 'rejoice' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the rejoice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gatherings. The users are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that they are inseparable from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are always online and active on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are not mentally available for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to communicate. They don’t take any interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gatherings showing no affection and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
in the surroundings even if they are sitting together. This over-usage is the prime cause of gaps between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships.

“Family is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in the world. ” -Princess Diana

The youngsters do not pay much attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
if they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
them to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and try to be in isolation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
listen to advice from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in return
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they don’t understand the dimensions of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and technology,
therefore
, they should not disturb their children. This mindset and misperception resulting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have created isolation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
especially
in children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
or understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

2.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
the divorce rate among couples. A study has found that a 20% annual increase
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
was associated
with a 2. 18% to 4. 32% increase in divorce rate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the dynamic of every relation.

3.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
among youth has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much from recent times. According to reports, there are 3. 5 billion active users of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
around the globe and 90% of users are youngsters. It means that almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is having at least one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
wizard or witch in their home. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
communications.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that as long as they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
they have no need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can result in major conflicts and
Possible spelling mistake found.
enemity
. All in all, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is increasing our contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and friends is decreasing.

Counter Argument:

The opponents say that internet and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is one of the greatest intervention which has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages like it’s a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of knowledge, it has constricted the distances, and expand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. They say that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medium for artists and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
depends on how you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Refude
:

Excess of everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has made everyone
Possible spelling mistake found.
nomophobic
everyone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
indulged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
that they don’t know what exactly is going around them. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer to us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are far away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it is taking us away from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are sitting
next
to us.

Conclusion:

From the above discussion it’s concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
by reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and interactions. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
relations by limiting its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Life needs to give attention over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you are with
instead
of scrolling memes and posts. Erik
Possible spelling mistake found.
Qualman
says:

“We should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
engagement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationships
. ”
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IELTS essay DOES SOCIAL MEDIA HARM RELATIONS

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
614 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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