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ZOOS ARE INHUMANE AND SHOULD BE ABOLISHED

ZOOS ARE INHUMANE AND SHOULD BE ABOLISHED N8nb0
Zoos are an unsuitable environment for wild animals and should be abolished. A zoo cannot provide the perfect environment for every type of wildlife. Also, many people take zoos for their entertainment, which should be shut down forever that I agree. Every animal deserves to be free. Animals are inhuman shadows in many ways. For example, some people want to catch different kinds of animals and want to feed by keeping them in a cage. Nowadays, cutting down rain trees is a habit of some people is very dangerous for wild animals so that animals come to the urban area in search of food. Some animals even travel hundreds of miles each year and get put into a habitat a fraction of the size, with no space to run. However, there are more convincing arguments for why zoos should be shut down. Firstly, Lots of animals are not suitable for this category and are there just for the entertainment of visitors. Secondly, Zoos aren’t safe for humans, either. Some of the animals are very unhappy so they hurt or kill people. Most of the time they hurt workers and trainers. In conclusion, we should get rid of the zoo because they take the animals away from their natural habitat, the animals can’t live in the wild anymore, and zoos aren’t safe for anyone.
Zoos are an unsuitable environment for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and should
be abolished
. A zoo cannot provide the perfect environment for every type of wildlife.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take zoos for their entertainment, which should
be shut
down forever that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.

Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
deserves to be free.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
are inhuman shadows in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to catch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and want to feed by keeping them in a cage. Nowadays, cutting down rain trees is a habit of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the urban area in search of food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
even travel hundreds of miles each year and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
put into a habitat a fraction of the size, with no space to run.

However
, there are more convincing arguments for why zoos should
be shut
down.
Firstly
, Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not suitable for this category and are there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the entertainment of visitors.
Secondly
, Zoos aren’t safe for humans, either.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unhappy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they hurt or kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Most of the time they hurt workers and trainers.

In conclusion
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the zoo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
away from their natural habitat, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the wild anymore, and zoos aren’t safe for anyone.
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IELTS essay ZOOS ARE INHUMANE AND SHOULD BE ABOLISHED

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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