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Rules Of War and How The Civil War In Syria Broke it

Rules Of War and How The Civil War In Syria Broke it Qwn03
One of the recent conflicts that had broken the rule of war is the Syrian Civil War. The war began on March 15, 2011, and is still ongoing. It took place in Syria and the war is a conflict of the Syrians. The cause of war is how the violence rapidly increased and the country has fallen into civil war. Hundreds of rebellious groups/terrorists arisen and the conflict becomes a battle between Syrians. Which people called "foreign-backed terrorism". Based on an op-ed of The Guardian, calling for the prosecution of forces in Yemen for violating the civilians’ life and breaking the rules of war. The coalition's forces attacked the port city of Hodeida, taking away the people’s critical aid, food, and fuel. The war itself had violated the rules of war for the civilians and killed more than 300, 000 people throughout 10 years of war. This is against proportionality since the civils launch an attack that caused incidental loss of civilian life, injuries, and damage to property and is related to the concrete and direct military advantage. Shelling buildings and living places of the civilians had increased the damaged rates and death tolls of the civilians. This action is illegal and broke the rules of war. Protests increase and many people were damaged. This action is rather against humane treatment and there weren’t enough hospital areas to help cure the civilians. The civil war had damaged lots of civilians’ life and caused a high amount of migration.
One of the recent conflicts that had broken the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
is the Syrian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
War
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
began on March 15, 2011, and is
still
ongoing. It took place in Syria and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
is a conflict of the Syrians. The cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
is how the violence
rapidly
increased and the country has fallen into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. Hundreds of rebellious groups/terrorists arisen and the conflict becomes a battle between Syrians.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
foreign-backed terrorism
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Based on an op-ed of The Guardian, calling for the prosecution of forces in Yemen for violating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civilians’
life and breaking the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. The coalition's forces attacked the port city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hodeida
, taking away the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
critical aid, food, and fuel. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
itself had violated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civilians
and killed more than 300, 000
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people
throughout 10 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. This is against proportionality since the
Possible spelling mistake found.
civils
launch an attack that caused incidental loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civilian
life, injuries, and damage to property and
is related
to the concrete and direct military advantage. Shelling buildings and living places of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civilians
had increased the damaged rates and death tolls of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civilians
. This action is illegal and broke the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. Protests increase and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were damaged
. This action is
rather
against humane treatment and there weren’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
hospital areas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
cure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civilians
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
had damaged lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
civilians’
life and caused a high amount of migration.
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IELTS essay Rules Of War and How The Civil War In Syria Broke it

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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