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zoos are inhumane and should be abolished

zoos are inhumane and should be abolished 9LxNj
A highly controversial issue today relates to whether to keep animals in zoos or not. From my viewpoint, all zoos should be closed because they are cruel to animals, and there are better ways to introduce them to interested people. Putting animals in zoos is pure cruelty. Zoos are like a jail for animals. Animals do not have a natural and happy life there. A recent scientifically-sound research has shown that most of the animals that have been kept in zoos for a long time get sick or depressed. Feeling isolated, humiliated, and dissatisfied finally have led to dementia for many of them. A particularly good example here is Kamran, a lion which was transferred to Iran as an attempt to avoid the extinction of Iranian lion. Unfortunately, due to the low quality of the maintenance, he has died after only six months. While the cartel of the zoo industry and animal smugglers might deny it, the death rate of animals within zoos is increasingly growing. The other reason why I support the notion that zoos are cruel to animals is that they are useless. If anyone wants to watch animals or learn about them, he can go to their natural wildlife habitant. Watching lively animals who live freely with their family or herd is hundred percently more joyful than watching oppressed animals in a cage. In conclusion, torturing any kind of species only for amusement is absolutely inhuman. Likewise, keeping animals in zoos should be made illegal.
A
highly
controversial issue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos or not. From my viewpoint, all zoos should
be closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are cruel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and there are better ways to introduce them to interested
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is pure cruelty. Zoos are like a jail for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
do not have a natural and happy life there. A recent
scientifically
-sound research has shown that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos for a long time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick or depressed. Feeling isolated, humiliated, and dissatisfied
finally
have led to dementia for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kamran
, a lion which
was transferred
to Iran as an attempt to avoid the extinction of Iranian lion. Unfortunately, due to the low quality of the maintenance, he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
six months. While the cartel of the zoo industry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
smugglers might deny it, the death rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
within zoos is
increasingly
growing.

The other reason why I support the notion that zoos are cruel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is that they are useless. If anyone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
or learn about them, he can go to their natural wildlife habitant. Watching lively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freely
with their family or herd is
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
Possible spelling mistake found.
percently
more joyful than watching oppressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in a cage.

In conclusion
, torturing any kind of species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for amusement is
absolutely
inhuman.
Likewise
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos should
be made
illegal.
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IELTS essay zoos are inhumane and should be abolished

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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