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in many countries few people have extremly high incomes compared to the rest of the population. some people belive that this is good, while others say that the government should not allow this to happen

in many countries few people have extremly high incomes compared to the rest of the population. some people belive that this is good, while others say that the government should not allow this to happen BJ5BX
Income are vary in different countries. According to survey, People having high income are more in many countries. Some people thinks that, earner with high income are good. In contrast, other people believes that, this is the responsibility of the government to fix the minimum wages for all the people to maintain the equality over the community. On the one hand, some people thinks that the high income is beneficial. The people having a high income can fulfill all the need of their. They are also beneficial for the government as well as the community. TO illustrate, For government, the person having high income, should have to pay more taxes. Consequently, the number of tax payer would be increase Therefore, the government can efficiently provide some benefits to the local people, as the fund is increases in the form of taxes. Moreover, the government is able to develop more amenities for the community and the local chaps are more frequently access the amenities. On the other hand, people having different through that, government should fix the minimum wages for every one. For example, in Canada, there is minimum wage decided. The person who works for one hours should earn $14. On the contrary, in such countries, there is still not such kind of law by the government. Consequently, the law could be pass through out the world. In conclusion, government and local people both are benefited by the high earner. Therefore, In my view, people doesn’t have the problem with the good salary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Income
are
Consider using a past participle here: "varied".
vary
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. According to survey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
are more in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that, earner with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
In contrast
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
that, this is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the minimum wages for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to maintain the equality over the community.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is beneficial. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
can fulfill all the need of their. They are
also
beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
as well
as the community. TO illustrate, For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
, should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more taxes.
Consequently
, the number of tax payer would be increase
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
efficiently
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as the fund is increases in the form of taxes.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is able to develop more amenities for the community and the local chaps are more
frequently
access the amenities.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
through that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the minimum wages for every one.
For example
, in Canada, there is minimum wage decided. The person who works for
Don't use the number 'one' with plural words. Did you mean "one hour", "an hour", or simply "hours"?
one hours
should earn $14.
On the contrary
, in such countries, there is
still
not such kind of law by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Consequently
, the law could be pass
Did you mean "throughout"?
through out
the world.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
both
are benefited
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
earner.
Therefore
, In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
doesn
’t have the problem with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary.
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IELTS essay in many countries few people have extremly high incomes compared to the rest of the population. some people belive that this is good, while others say that the government should not allow this to happen

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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