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Caring for children is important in any society. All parents should be required to take training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Caring for children is important in any society. All parents should be required to take training courses. 7a6xA
Taking care of children is believed to have a crucial role in human civilization. It is questionable whether all parents need to undergo such a training course to do childcare well. Although I agree with the idea of how significant childcare is, I completely disagree that training course should be taken by all parental adults. There is no doubt that the younger generations are inseparable parts of future prosperous and civil society as long as they are well-educated and have a profound understanding of morals. As a result, it is of great necessity for children to experience good parental guidance. On the other hand, social chaos would be witnessed due to an increase in the number of lawbreakers. It is a fact that people whose backgrounds involve no relation to their parental upbringing would not tend to comply with laws. For example, offenders who did not use to be taught well with ethic lessons and skills helping them apply for a job are likely to commit crimes in order to meet their basic needs and afford their living costs. However, there is no need for all parents to pursue a training course in terms of childcare, especially in such a society in which each individual is frequently packed with a hectic schedule. Parents, who are responsible for various aspects of life including finance and parental function, are under a lot of pressure; and therefore, a heavy workload with the addition of extra learning seems to be unbearable. Instead, with the constant advancement of technologies, there are various sources such as videos, e-books, social networking sites, providing parents with instructions regarding how to care for children in the most effective ways. In conclusion, I do not suppose to support the idea that a childcare training course is needed for all parents because as soon as the significance of looking after children is taken into account, parents can join hands to care for their children without having trained by extra courses.
Taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is believed
to have a crucial role in human civilization. It is questionable whether all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to undergo such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
to do childcare well. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of how significant childcare is, I completely disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
should
be taken
by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
adults.

There is no doubt that the younger generations are inseparable parts of future prosperous and civil society as long as they are well-educated and have a profound understanding of morals.
As a result
, it is of great necessity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
guidance.
On the other hand
, social chaos would
be witnessed
due to an increase in the number of lawbreakers. It is a fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whose backgrounds involve no relation to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
upbringing would not tend to comply with laws.
For example
, offenders who did not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
be taught
well with ethic lessons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
helping them apply for a job are likely to commit crimes in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their basic needs and afford their living costs.

However
, there is no need for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to pursue a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in terms of childcare,
especially
in such a society in which each individual is
frequently
packed with a hectic schedule.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
, who are responsible for various aspects of life including finance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parental
function, are under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure; and
therefore
, a heavy workload with the addition of extra learning seems to be unbearable.
Instead
, with the constant advancement of technologies, there are various sources such as videos, e-books, social networking sites, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
with instructions regarding how to care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the most effective ways.

In conclusion
, I do not suppose to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that a childcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is needed
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the significance of looking after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is taken
into account,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
hands to care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without having trained by extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
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IELTS essay Caring for children is important in any society. All parents should be required to take training courses.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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