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Youth crime is increasing with numbers everywhere

Youth crime is increasing with numbers everywhere gAR1a
Youth crime is increasing with numbers everywhere. Personally, I think there are hidden reasons for the problem and suddenly there are solutions to improve them. The first reason is connected with the family. As a matter of fact, adults today are so involved in work so they do not have time to take good care their children and they usually ignored the children. Especial, parents are divorced and children living with only father or mother so they feel unloved and sometimes want to do something different to get everyone's attention. The second, between the rich and the poor is widening gap so the young suppose society is mistreating them and they want to revenge. Other causes is they use stimulants like drugs which make them unconscious and hallucinated However, every problem have solutions. Such as The law should have punishments for the parents so that they are more responsible for their children. Moreover the school should also teach students the harmful effects of crime and how to avoid it. For example, teenage criminals do not know how terrible their committed crime therefore keeping them updated with relevant information can firmly deter them from crime In conclusion, the families and the social should be responsible for youth crime, If parents are concerned and society teaches teenage believe this problem will be greatly reduced in the future
Youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is increasing with numbers everywhere.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there
are hidden
reasons for the problem and
suddenly
there are solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
them.

The
first
reason
is connected
with the family. As a matter of fact, adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
involved in work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have time to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Especial, parents
are divorced
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
living with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
father or mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel unloved and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
want to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everyone's attention. The second, between the rich and the poor is widening gap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the young suppose society is mistreating
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they want to revenge. Other causes is they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
stimulants like drugs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them unconscious and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
hallucinated


However
, every problem have solutions. Such as The law should have punishments for the parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they are more responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the school should
also
teach students the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and how to avoid it.
For example
, teenage criminals do not know how terrible their committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
therefore
keeping them updated with relevant information can
firmly
deter them from
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
crime


In conclusion
, the families and the social should be responsible for youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, If parents
are concerned
and society teaches teenage believe this problem will be
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in the future
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IELTS essay Youth crime is increasing with numbers everywhere

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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