Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Your school demands that you wear a school uniform. Do you think that you have the right to wear whatever clothes you wish?

Your school demands that you wear a school uniform. Do you think that you have the right to wear whatever clothes you wish? XGyaP
Different schools have different rules to control their students. Some schools compel their students to wear uniform, others let their students wear whatever they want. Although there is an opinion that students should be given freedom in wearing their favorite clothes, I believe that it’s better to let students wear uniform at school. First of all, uniform helps all students feel that they are similar to other people. The clothes we wear often reflect our financial situation, and this is true for students as well. Students whose parents are rich usually wear fashionable and expensive clothes, while students in the opposite situation can only own a very old and cheap closet. The difference in clothes will make they feel different and this difference should not exist in schools. On the other hand, when all students wear the same, they will feel that they are the same as each other. There will be no distance between them, and that is really a great condition for them to build students’ beautiful friendships. The next crucial point is uniform helps students be treated equally. Students who are well dressed are often respected by other peers and teachers. Meanwhile, of course, ones who have nothing to wear often be looked down at school. This is the discrimination based on appearance. However, when all students wear uniform, they look the same. Thus, there is no clue for other people to treat them differently, except their personalities or their intelligence. Last but not least, I believe that uniform makes students obey school rules better for two reasons. The first reason is that wearing uniform put students under the control of the school’s managers. Managers and teachers can easily observe and recognize their students based on the uniform that the students are wearing. The second reason is that wearing uniform remind students of the fact that they have responsibilities at school. Also, to lots of students, wearing uniform let they feel proud of their school. As a result, they will behave better and become more obedient. In conclusion, uniforms can make students more obedient, give students the sense of equality and help teachers control their students better. Those are the reasons why I believe uniform should be available in every school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
compel their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
whatever they want. Although there is an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom in wearing their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, I believe that it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
at school.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that they are similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
reflect our financial situation, and this is true for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
whose parents are rich
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
fashionable and expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the opposite situation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
closet. The difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and this difference should not exist in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, when all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the same, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that they are the same as each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. There will be no distance between them, and
that is
really
a great condition for them to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
friendships.

The
next
crucial point is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
be treated
equally
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well dressed
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
respected by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
peers and teachers. Meanwhile,
of course
, ones who have nothing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
be looked
down at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This is the discrimination based on appearance.
However
, when all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, they look the same.
Thus
, there is no clue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to treat them
differently
, except their personalities or their intelligence.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
obey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
under the control of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
managers. Managers and teachers can
easily
observe and recognize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
based on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are wearing. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
remind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the fact that they have responsibilities at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Also
, to lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
proud of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
As a result
, they will behave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and become more obedient.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more obedient, give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the sense of equality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
teachers control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Those are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
should be available in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Your school demands that you wear a school uniform. Do you think that you have the right to wear whatever clothes you wish?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
374 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Your school demands that you wear a school uniform. Do you think that you have the right to wear whatever clothes you wish?