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Nowadays people prefer to shop, work and communicate on the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays people prefer to shop, work and communicate on the internet. Is this a positive or negative development? 0AwDl
In many parts of the world, the internet has taken over the lives of people by storm. I believe it to be a positive development not only because of its mega-advantages related to saving time and earning a hefty amount, but also because of its primary usage as a cheap communication. This essay will explore how these mega-merits makes this development a positive one. Firstly, the internet saves a lot of time which people usually spend on shopping in traditional brick-and-mortar shops. As e-commerce provides a plate form where everything is available with a click of a button instead of hunting around for desired objects. Take an example of Australia, where a significant proportion of people prefer to do shopping on Amazon. Com due to their fast delivery. Thus, the convenience of online shopping makes this development a positive one. Secondly, in this contemporary world, working on the internet is preferable since it emboldens masses to earn more money as compared to conventional means. Because many companies are offering handsome remunerations to their international employees, the exorbitant number of people are joining online international workforce. This fact can be better explained with an example of a German company where the majority of the employees are working from Norway. Hence, the internet does have a positive impact on the lives of people. Finally, the internet allows individuals to connect with others living in far-flung areas at a very low cost. As traditional calls cost people a fortune to connect with their family members, but the online application has made lives much easier. Therefore, the usage of the internet in fact is a positive development. To sum up, the use of the internet for daily purposes can benefit in terms of providing a fast connection with people, saving time and money, all these mega-advantages make it a positive development.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, the internet has taken over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by storm. I believe it to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its mega-advantages related to saving time and earning a hefty amount,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its primary usage as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
communication. This essay will explore how these mega-merits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
one.

Firstly
, the internet saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
spend on shopping in traditional brick-and-mortar shops. As e-commerce provides a plate form where everything is available with a click of a button
instead
of hunting around for desired objects. Take an example of Australia, where a significant proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go shopping".
do shopping
on Amazon. Com due to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
delivery.
Thus
, the convenience of online shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
one.

Secondly
, in this contemporary world, working on the internet is preferable since it emboldens masses to earn more money as compared to conventional means.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are offering handsome remunerations to their international employees, the exorbitant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
joining


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
online
international workforce. This fact can be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
with an example of a German
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
where the majority of the employees are working from Norway.
Hence
, the internet does have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Finally
, the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
individuals to connect with others living in far-flung areas at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low cost. As traditional calls cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a fortune to connect with their family members,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the online application has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
much easier.
Therefore
, the usage of the internet in fact is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
development.

To sum up, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the internet for daily purposes can benefit in terms of providing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
connection with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, saving time and money, all these mega-advantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays people prefer to shop, work and communicate on the internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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