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Youngsters want to live with their parents . Do you agree or disagree.

Youngsters want to live with their parents. EdqLB
These days, youngones would like to stay with their guardians after completing the graduation and seek out for the jobs. While, there are number of advantages, but few disadvantages which I will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. Taking into account certain factors, it is justified to believe that why young people need to live outside from home, is beneficial for number of reasons. First, if adults do not go outside for education and finding job, they will remain deprived to be self dependent.
These days,
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngones
would like to stay with their guardians after completing the graduation and seek out for the jobs. While, there are number of advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
few disadvantages which I will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. Taking into account certain factors, it
is justified
to believe that why young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
outside from home, is beneficial for number of reasons.
First
, if adults do not go outside for education and finding job, they will remain deprived to be self dependent.
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IELTS essay Youngsters want to live with their parents.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
82 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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