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"Teenagers should have a part-time jobs in there preparation for there future". Do you agree with this statement

"Teenagers should have a part-time jobs in there preparation for there future". Ny3lN
In the modern society, it's quite common to determine teenagers working everywhere within the city. Whatever part time jobs they're doing, they're preparing for their future. School could also be the most effective place for correct education but not for preparation for the surface working world. Indeed, teenagers learn plenty of things through the roles they are doing when still being students. To start with, youngsters learn the way to rearrange their time. as an example, an employee must work 7. 00 within the early morning. This means, he must present at the corporate by 7. 00 regardless of how late he stayed up last night. Moreover, as a student, he must take use of his time and spend it properly on both studying and dealing. He avoids bad habits like going out late at midnight and find up late within the morning Another point is that teenagers will appreciate the worth of cash. They exerting and realize how difficult to create money. They also understand that “Money doesn't grow on trees”. Before buying an upscale clothes or shoes, they remember their parents’ diligence and think more carefully whether or not they can purchase those or not. But the foremost benefit to teenagers working is that they get some useful experiences which they can not learn at college. For instance, after leaving university, Gates worked outsides and gained valuable experience on what does and doesn't work. From the time starting his career in a very garage, he now becomes the foremost successful man with the fashionable development of engineering. Although teenagers have responsibility to target their academic studies, part-time jobs also are important for his or her future work. Personally, it has long been my belief that teenagers should be allowed to try and do some part-time jobs to adapt to the working environment and obtain lessons from reality.
In the modern society, it's quite common to determine
teenagers
working
everywhere within the city. Whatever part
time
jobs they're doing, they're preparing for their future. School could
also
be the most effective place for correct education
but
not for preparation for the surface
working
world.
Indeed
,
teenagers
learn
plenty
of things through the roles they are doing when
still
being students.

To
start
with, youngsters learn the way to rearrange their
time
.
as
an example, an employee
must
work 7. 00 within the early morning. This means, he
must
present at the corporate by 7. 00 regardless of how late he stayed up last night.
Moreover
, as a student, he
must
take
use
of his
time
and spend it
properly
on both studying and dealing. He avoids
bad
habits like going out late at midnight and find up late within the morning

Another point is that
teenagers
will appreciate the worth of cash.
They exerting
and realize how difficult to create money. They
also
understand that “Money doesn't grow on trees”.
Before
buying an upscale
clothes
or shoes, they remember their parents’ diligence and
think
more
carefully
whether or not
they can
purchase
those or not.

But
the foremost benefit to
teenagers
working
is that they
get
some
useful experiences which they can not learn at college.
For instance
, after leaving university, Gates worked outsides and gained valuable experience on what does and doesn't work. From the
time
starting his career in a
very
garage, he
now
becomes the foremost successful
man
with the fashionable development of engineering.

Although
teenagers
have responsibility to target their academic studies, part-time jobs
also
are
important
for
his or her
future work.
Personally
, it has long been my belief that
teenagers
should be
allowed
to
try and
do
some
part-time jobs to adapt to the
working
environment and obtain lessons from reality.
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IELTS essay "Teenagers should have a part-time jobs in there preparation for there future".

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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