Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Youngsters are influenced by celebrity,,do u agree or disagree

Youngsters are influenced by celebrity, , do u agree or disagree Rw1lG
In today's era, big personalities are very popular for their luxurious and fashionable lifestyle instead of their accomplishment which is ruining the youngsters. I completely agree with this notion. This essay will discuss how their appearance and lavish way of living is affecting the young people. To begin with, youngsters are forgetting their moral values and culture because they are obsessed over celebrities. They try to imitate the fashion trend followed by big stars. Whatever celebrities do and wear become the new fashion statement due to which youth is moving away from the culture followed in their country. Furthermore young generation is not socialized, respecting their elders and also taking drugs in their early age. This is all due to the influence of alluring lifestyle of star fames. For example most college students go to night parties, wear unethical clothes, take drugs which is all due to the impact of life-style of superstars. Apart from this, today's generation is in extravagant lifestyle due to influence of lavish way of living of well known persons which is troubling their parents because parents income is less than their demand. Furthermore, grand lifestyle of children is diverting them from their aim for which parents are struggling hard. They want to earn money without working hard and running towards shortcuts for the success so that they can live a life like renowned persons. for example, nowadays youngsters are wasting their time for blogging instead of studying to earn money and fame quickly which is dropping them out of studies. To conclude, youngsters are going towards to the wrong path by following the culture and lavish lifestyle of celebrities. Therefore I completely agree with the statement that youngsters are more influenced by glamour rather than their achievements.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
personalities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular for their luxurious and fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
instead
of their accomplishment which is ruining the youngsters. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. This essay will discuss how their appearance and lavish way of living is affecting the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youngsters are forgetting their moral values and culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are obsessed
over celebrities. They try to imitate the fashion trend followed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
stars. Whatever celebrities do and wear become the new fashion statement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to which youth is moving away from the culture followed in their country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
young generation is not socialized, respecting their elders and
also
taking drugs in their early age. This is all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the influence of alluring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of star
Possible spelling mistake found.
fames
.
For example
most college students go to night parties, wear unethical clothes, take drugs which is all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the impact of life-style of superstars.

Apart from this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation is in extravagant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to influence of lavish way of living of well known persons which is troubling their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents income is less than their demand.
Furthermore
, grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of children is diverting them from their aim for which parents are struggling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. They want to earn money without working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and running towards shortcuts for the success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a life like renowned persons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, nowadays youngsters are wasting their time for blogging
instead
of studying to earn money and fame
quickly
which is dropping them out of studies.

To conclude
, youngsters are going towards to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path by following the culture and lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of celebrities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that youngsters are more influenced by glamour
rather
than their achievements.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Youngsters are influenced by celebrity, , do u agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    It is ongoing debate whether city has more amenities or village.
    Moreover, famous person does not have enough time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, famous person have to go anywhere with security because of the crowd. Moreover, famous person does not have enough time for their family and persue their hobbies. Furthermore, famous person have...
  • 5band
    Traditional celebrations and festivals should be maintained by all means
    In the world, there are numerous countries and races that are deserved in cultural traditions. The national culture identity reflects the national character of the culture. I agree with the idea that traditional celebrations and festivals should be maintained by all means. This is the main reason w...
  • 6.5band
    Economic growth is the only key factor for ending world poverty. But some people say it leads towards environmental damage. Comment
    In the modern era, governments are considering the affects of developments across the globe. Individuals perceive that to curb the poverty throughout the world economic development is significantly responsible; however, others consider that this growth results in depleting the environment. This essa...
  • 5band
    Pollution is undoubtedly one of the most complex challenges facing the world at the moment.
    Pollution is undoubtedly one of the major problems in the world. The poison that released by the various companies and vehicles which has NO and CO gases in it, where by breathing that air making human beings to suffer from various diseases. The pollution comes from the combustion of natural gases a...
  • 6band
    Should unis give equal admission to boys and girls
    In this day and age gender equality has been at the forefront of the discussion of social and political issues. A plethora of countries are adopting unprejudiced steps to solve this ongoing issues and create a safe space for women. This started with the guarantee of fundamental rights, to vote, ...
  • 5band
    the maps show the change in a village
    The graphs below depict the development of a village of Wells-on-the-Water during a period of 25 years in the UK. As can be seen from the maps, the village changed considerably over the time period with the replacement of the farmland for other facilities such as roads and shops. The village was mo...