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the maps show the change in a village

the maps show the change in a village kx35M
The graphs below depict the development of a village of Wells-on-the-Water during a period of 25 years in the UK. As can be seen from the maps, the village changed considerably over the time period with the replacement of the farmland for other facilities such as roads and shops. The village was modernised with significant changes in many areas and developed into a residential area. The trees were cut down to make way for shops and houses. In addition, another road called Queens Drive road was opened to the East of Wood Drive road, connecting Wood Drive with the Northern area with New shops and post office constructed along Queens Drive. Furthermore, the old factory and Mansion House was converted into luxury flats and Care House respectively. Especially, the farmhouse was replaced by a park while the post office remained in use. As a bridge was constructed to connect people from both riverbanks, more houses were built near the river.
The graphs below depict the development of a village of Wells-on-the-Water during a period of 25 years in the UK.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the maps, the village
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
considerably
over the time period with the replacement of the farmland for other facilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and shops. The village was
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
with significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas and developed into a residential area.

The trees were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
.
In addition
, another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
called Queens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
was opened
to the East of Wood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
, connecting Wood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drive
with the Northern area with New shops and post office constructed along Queens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drive
.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
factory and Mansion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
House
was converted
into luxury flats and Care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
House
respectively
.

Especially
, the farmhouse
was replaced
by a park while the post office remained in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. As a bridge
was constructed
to connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from both riverbanks, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were built
near the river.

IELTS essay the maps show the change in a village

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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