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Traditional celebrations and festivals should be maintained by all means

Traditional celebrations and festivals should be maintained by all means GL1Mw
In the world, there are numerous countries and races that are deserved in cultural traditions. The national culture identity reflects the national character of the culture. I agree with the idea that traditional celebrations and festivals should be maintained by all means. This is the main reason why traditional and festivals should be preserved and developed. First, some festivals and special days represent historical events. For example, the Vietnam National Day is anniversary of the birth of Vietnam, The Christmas Day originated from the Western to celebrate the birth of Christ, . . . and a lot of events such as Tet, Vietnam Independence Day, . . . . have been held for a long time and people who celebrate that festivals need to pass it on to the next generation to let them know about the history, traditional cultures of their country. Nowadays, a lot of Vietnam’s young generation don't care about festivals and special events. In the special events, they often travel to another place, or just hang out with their friends. They no longer celebrate holidays or participate in traditional festivals in their homeland. I think the young generation have forgotten the meaning of festivals and special events of their country, so it’s everyone’s duty to pass on the knowledge of traditional cultures to the next class. it's not just festivals, it's cultural traditions representing a nation In conclusion, I agree that traditional celebrations and festivals should be developed and deserved.
In the world, there are numerous countries and races that
are deserved
in cultural traditions. The national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
identity reflects the national character of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
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traditional
celebrations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
should
be maintained
by all means.

This is the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
should
be preserved
and developed.
First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
days represent historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
For example
, the Vietnam National Day is anniversary of the birth of Vietnam, The Christmas Day originated from the Western to celebrate the birth of Christ
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
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.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as Tet, Vietnam Independence Day
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
have
been held
for a long time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who celebrate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
need to pass it on to the
next
generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know about the history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
of their country. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Vietnam’s young generation don't care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and
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special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. In the
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special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
travel to another place, or
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just
hang out with their friends. They no longer celebrate holidays or participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
in their homeland. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the young generation have forgotten the meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
of their country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s everyone’s duty to pass on the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
to the
next
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
's not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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festivals
,
Did you mean "its cultural traditions"?
it's cultural traditions
representing a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
nation


In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
celebrations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
should
be developed
and deserved.
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IELTS essay Traditional celebrations and festivals should be maintained by all means

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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