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Youngsters are advised to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after high school. Discuss both views.

Youngsters are advised to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after high school. VlbXw
Nowadays, after graduating from high school, a lot of teenagers have to face a challenge whether they had better get a job or continue higher education at university. I suppose that each view has its own advantages and directly benefits youngsters in many different ways. There are several reasons why people believe that getting a job after high school is a good option. First of all, by entering the workforce at an early time, students could earn their own money and do not have to depend on parent’s financial support. In fact, many students tend to find a job after graduating to afford their living and tuition fees. Second, there are a lot of careers which do not require any degrees or college education so that the young can easily find a suitable job for themselves. In addition, as starting their career path sooner than peers, students receive more oppurtunities to gain real experience and acquire prevelant skills for their future. On the other hand, keeping up with further education at college can be really benefical for students, in terms of academic qualifications and diplomas. Firstly, since plenty of employers may have high standard and ask for a bachelor’s degree or master’s degree, achieve one can bring out a good chance for students of getting a high-paid job. Moreover, as the today job market is getting more and more competitive, an impressive curriculum vitae with certificates can be a huge advantage students in pursing their dream job. Secondly, students could easily expand their network with elite people if they choose to study higher. University is a motivating environment with thousands of clubs, organizations and groups where people are able to meet and learn a lot from their seniors and peers. This may help youngsters to develop themselves and obtain vital information. To sum up, working straight after school or continuing the study can be beneficial in many aspects, it seems that the young need to balance and make the most appropriate choice for their future. ¬
Nowadays, after graduating from high school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face a challenge whether they had better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or continue higher education at university. I suppose that each view has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and
directly
benefits youngsters in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after high school is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by entering the workforce at an early time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could earn their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
money and do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on parent’s financial support. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduating to afford their living and tuition fees. Second, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
careers which do not require any degrees or college education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the young can
easily
find a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for themselves.
In addition
, as starting their career path sooner than peers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
receive more
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppurtunities
to gain real experience and acquire
Possible spelling mistake found.
prevelant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their future.

On the other hand
, keeping up with
further
education at college can be
really
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefical
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, in terms of academic qualifications and diplomas.
Firstly
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of employers may have high standard and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a bachelor’s degree or master’s degree, achieve one can bring out a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of getting a high-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Moreover
, as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market is getting more and more competitive, an impressive curriculum vitae with certificates can be a huge advantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in pursing their dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could
easily
expand their network with elite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
if they choose to study higher. University is a motivating environment with thousands of clubs, organizations and groups where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and learn a lot from their seniors and peers. This may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngsters to develop themselves and obtain vital information.

To sum up, working straight after school or continuing the study can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects, it seems that the young need to balance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most appropriate choice for their future. ¬
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IELTS essay Youngsters are advised to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after high school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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