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3. Some information in films, books and on the Internet has a negative influence on young people. Some people think that such information should be controlled. Give your opinion on both sides of view use your own experience and example.

3. Some information in films, books and on the Internet has a negative influence on young people. Some people think that such information should be controlled. Give your opinion on both sides of view use your own experience and example. joJBM
We live in the golden age of content. Humans have access to all kinds of entertainment materials available in the world, adults and children. Some of this content can have a negative impact on a child although it carry it’s benefits as well. In the following essay, I will argue both sides and put my opinions forward. Firstly, let us look at the bad effects inappropriate content such as movies, books and the internet has. The films and books with violence such as guns, knives and even murders can manipulate the kid into a dark path. Furthermore, the internet is a broad network, while it can play rhymes and poems to entertain and teach the child a lot of stuff, it also has a lot of age inappropriate things that could shape a child’s mind poorly. In terms of the advantages of the content era, when children are accessible to a large number of movies and books, they can discover their favorite genres, the things they adore or even decide a career for their future. Researchers claim that children discover their interests and hobbies at an early age. In addition, reading books is considered to be an excellent habit and also watching movies are a big source of entertainment and it broadens one’s mind by providing knowledge in a fun way. For instance, Narnia is movie which has magic and is especially made for the kids to watch and so is Jungle book and a number of films just for the right age. In terms of controlling the information provided to the children, I totally concur with the fact that the content should be monitored by their parents. A child not being monitored is a free bird and can fly into any direction the wind takes them regardless of what’s best for them. Nobody but the parents can guide their kid in the right path. The content provided to them should be age appropriate for them. It should also be checked for any kind of violence or foul words. Weighing up both sides of the argument, my own view on the matter is that the information shared with the children should be carefully handled as taking everything into consideration, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The kids can be entertained by books like Harry Potter and animated movies like Up which teaches them emotions and is best suited for their ages without anything disrupting their brain at such a tender age.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
. Humans have access to all kinds of entertainment materials available in the world, adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
although it
Did you mean "carries"?
carry
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
benefits
as well
. In the following essay, I will argue both sides and put my opinions forward.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us look at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and the internet has. The films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with violence such as guns, knives and even murders can manipulate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
into a dark path.
Furthermore
, the internet is a broad network, while it can play rhymes and poems to entertain and teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
stuff, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
inappropriate things that could shape a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mind
poorly
.

In terms of the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
era, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are accessible to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, they can discover their favorite genres, the things they adore or even decide a career for their future. Researchers claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
discover their interests and hobbies at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
In addition
, reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is considered
to be an excellent habit and
also
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
source of entertainment and it broadens one’s mind by providing knowledge
Consider replacing "in a fun way" with the adverb for "fun"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a fun way
.
For instance
, Narnia is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
which has magic and is
especially
made for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is Jungle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and a number of films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the right age.

In terms of controlling the information provided to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I
totally
concur with the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
should
be monitored
by their parents. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
not
being monitored
is a free bird and can
fly
into any direction the wind takes them regardless of what’s best for them. Nobody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the parents can guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
in the right path. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
provided to them should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
appropriate for them. It should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
for any kind of violence or foul words.

Weighing up both sides of the argument, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view on the matter is that the information shared with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
carefully
handled as taking everything into consideration, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
can
be entertained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
like Harry Potter and animated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
like Up which teaches them emotions and is best suited for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
without anything disrupting their brain at such a tender
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
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IELTS essay 3. Some information in films, books and on the Internet has a negative influence on young people. Some people think that such information should be controlled. Give your opinion on both sides of view use your own experience and example.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
410 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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