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young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree?

young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. N5Vj
The capital offence among youth makes many people think that the court should apply the same punishment as adults on young people. However, I disagree with this statement, I will discuss a number of points in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there is one major point why should not apply the same criminal punishments on young people. Inititally, they are too young to fully understand that their criminal acts could lead to potential consequences whereas teenagers may physically grown- up and look like adults, but they are not mentally mature enough to evaluate their decisions. For example: a recent survey conducted by USA government conveyed that 60% crime was done by teens owing to they are not young to make the right choice. Thus, this is the reason why court should not give permission to punished in the same way as adults. By probing further, teenagers means that the young have to spend their lives in prisons instead of reformatory schools. I disagree with this point. From my perspective, rehabilitation is a vital process, especially for young people. Therefore, rather than sending young people to prison where hardened criminals are living, we should let them stay in reformatory schools where they can continue their academic learning journey. In those places, they will be separated from bad people and focus on their future. For instance: in some cities which are developed, education system rules are followed by courts as well as better progress are noticed there. As a result, education is the best way for teens criminals because they can make future better and get good job. To conclude, I oppose the view that the youth have to be under the same crime punishment as adults when they commit grave crimes. The explanations for this is that they are too young to control their thoughts, and they can suffer from psychological problems if they have to go to jail.
The capital
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
among youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the court should apply the same punishment as adults on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I disagree with this statement, I will discuss a number of points in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is one major point why should not apply the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
punishments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inititally
, they are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to
fully
understand that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
acts could lead to potential consequences whereas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may
physically
grown- up and look like adults,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not mentally mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to evaluate their decisions.
For example
: a recent survey conducted by USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
conveyed that 60% crime
was done
by teens owing to they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right choice.
Thus
, this is the reason why court should not give permission to punished
in the same way
as adults.

By probing
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in prisons
instead
of reformatory schools. I disagree with this point. From my perspective, rehabilitation is a vital process,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
,
rather
than sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to prison where hardened
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are living, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them stay in reformatory schools where they can continue their academic learning journey. In those places, they will
be separated
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and focus on their future.
For instance
: in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities which
are developed
, education system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are followed
by courts
as well
as better progress
are noticed
there.
As a result
, education is the best way for teens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
future better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

To conclude
, I oppose the view that the youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be under the same crime punishment as adults when they commit grave crimes. The explanations for this is that they are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to control their thoughts, and they can suffer from psychological problems if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to jail.
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IELTS essay young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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