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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? b1EP
People’s health is dropping down in many nations, and this issue is related to obesity and overweight. One of the major causes is the unhealthy lifestyle and there is a very effective way to address this problem which is education. Most of the people live in a modern city which also means that they are busy at work during the day. Many of them do not go to gym or do any exercise afterward. People tend to eat late at night and sometimes they spoil themself with midnight snacks. Therefore, we are seeing more citizens with obesity and overweight problems. Moreover, many young adults are getting problems which normally seen in older populations only. For example, research shows that 25% of the patients were diagnosed with hypertension under the age of 40. This problem can be tackled with education. People usually are not aware of the issue until it becomes obvious, so educate people with the consequence of gaining too much weight. Government should have taken a part in maintaining the health of their citizens and education though the public program is the most effective way to improve people’s health. Building more public fitness centers around the neighborhood is another way to encourage people to do exercise. The health of the people is closely connected to our weight; therefore gaining too much weight will definitely put a person at risk of their health. Building facilities around the residential area, so people can have easy access to and education is the key to prevent people from getting into unhealthy lifestyles.
People’s
health
is
dropping down
in
many
nations, and this issue
is related
to obesity and overweight. One of the major causes is the unhealthy lifestyle and there is a
very
effective way to address this
problem
which is education.

Most of the
people
live
in a modern city which
also
means that they are busy at work during the day.
Many
of them do not go to gym or do any exercise afterward.
People
tend to eat late at night and
sometimes
they spoil
themself
with midnight snacks.
Therefore
, we are seeing more citizens with obesity and overweight
problems
.
Moreover
,
many
young adults are getting
problems
which
normally
seen
in older populations
only
.
For example
, research
shows
that 25% of the patients
were diagnosed
with hypertension under the age of 40.

This
problem
can
be tackled
with education.
People
usually
are not aware of the issue until it becomes obvious,
so
educate
people
with the consequence of gaining too much weight.
Government
should have taken a part in maintaining the
health
of their citizens and education though the public program is the most effective way to
improve
people’s
health
. Building more public fitness centers around the neighborhood is another way to encourage
people
to do exercise.

The
health
of the
people
is
closely
connected to our weight;
therefore
gaining too much weight will definitely put a person at
risk
of their
health
. Building facilities around the residential area,
so
people
can have easy access to and education is the key to
prevent
people
from getting into unhealthy lifestyles.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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