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Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. v. 2
Increasing offence as well as juvenile delinquents enhanced our insecure condition frequently. For this, today, it is led to debate that whether youth lawbreakers should be tried in court as adults or treated differently because of their age. I strongly dispute to the idea that treated them like adults, besides, owing to their age; there must be any other options to solve this matter. Youngest will be sent to the rehabilitation centre to learn and teach the social value and anti-corruption lessons. This essay will delve into these viewpoints with relevant examples in support of my opinion. Firstly, adolescent doing violation due to the peer pressures and gangs. Besides, the violence in the media can attract their attitudes and behaviours. Our young are like a car with a great accelerator, but a weak brake. They do not think before they act. Sometimes, they do not understand what the right is and what the wrong is, as a result, they do the same wrong works again. In this situation, if they send to the jail, the entire environment of the jail does not make them guilty and besides that, they become a big criminal. However, their evils should not be forgotten. Therefore, they must be sent to the juvenile recovery centre instead of a bar. There they must have re-education and re-socialization. For example, a child case magazine showed their report that about 75 percent teenager offenders came back, their normal life after their recovery sessions. It is said that bad behaviours are easier to change when a person is fledgling. On the other hand, those people say that the teen offender must be punished like a man; they believe this because many countries pay no full attention to youth crimes, for this, they become more dangerous than any other criminals do. For instance, research of the Information Computer Technology crime department indicated that now a day, many teenagers involved in cybercrime, child abuse, women misdeeds and many others anti-social activities than the last few years. However, our minor law does not allow putting the pubescent behind the bar, yet the junior lawbreakers do not feel guilty for their misdeeds. As a result, transgression increased at a high rate. For this, if they get harsher penalties like older, then they realized their faults and afraid to break the laws. Besides, these treatments will make our civil life safe and peaceful. Much research said that the modified law would change the situation and decreased the re-offence cases. To recapitulate, we should hate transgression, not criminals. Time and adult persons negatively influence young generation. So that they need proper attention to give up their misdemeanours, not to harsher trial. This will curb our crimes.
Increasing
offence
as well
as juvenile delinquents enhanced our insecure condition
frequently
. For this,
today
, it
is led
to debate that whether youth lawbreakers should
be tried
in court as adults or treated
differently
because
of their age. I
strongly
dispute to the
idea
that treated them like adults,
besides
, owing to their age; there
must
be any
other
options to solve this matter. Youngest will be
sent
to the rehabilitation
centre
to learn and teach the social value and anti-corruption lessons. This essay will delve into these viewpoints with relevant examples in support of my opinion.

Firstly
, adolescent doing violation due to the peer pressures and gangs.
Besides
, the violence in the media can attract their attitudes and
behaviours
. Our young are like a car with a great accelerator,
but
a weak brake. They do not
think
before
they act.
Sometimes
, they do not understand what the right is and what the
wrong
is,
as a result
, they do the same
wrong
works again. In this situation, if they
send
to the jail, the entire environment of the jail does not
make
them guilty and
besides
that, they become a
big
criminal.
However
, their evils should not
be forgotten
.
Therefore
, they
must
be
sent
to the juvenile recovery
centre
instead
of a bar. There they
must
have re-education and re-socialization.
For example
, a child case magazine
showed
their report that about 75 percent
teenager
offenders came back, their normal life after their recovery sessions. It
is said
that
bad
behaviours
are easier to
change
when a person is fledgling.

On the
other
hand, those
people
say that the teen offender
must
be punished
like a
man
; they believe this
because
many
countries pay no full attention to youth crimes, for this, they become more
dangerous
than any
other
criminals do.
For instance
, research of the Information Computer Technology crime department indicated that
now
a day,
many
teenagers
involved in cybercrime, child abuse, women misdeeds and
many
others anti-social activities than the last few years.
However
, our minor law does not
allow
putting the pubescent behind the bar,
yet
the junior lawbreakers do not feel
guilty for
their misdeeds.
As a result
, transgression increased at a high rate. For this, if they
get
harsher penalties like older, then they realized their faults and afraid to break the laws.
Besides
, these treatments will
make
our civil life safe and peaceful. Much research said that the modified law would
change
the situation and decreased the
re-offence
cases.

To recapitulate, we should hate transgression, not criminals. Time and adult persons
negatively
influence young generation.
So
that they need proper attention to give up their
misdemeanours
, not to harsher trial. This will curb our crimes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people who commit serious crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
451 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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