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Young people who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adults. a816o
There are a large number of people suggesting that youngsters who breach the law should be served a sentence that is similar to mature people. I totally disagree with this idea because there are many alternative solutions that are better. There are plenty of reasons why young people who commit a crime should not be treated the same way as adults. First, the root of crime is the lack of knowledge and awareness and there are a couple of young offenders who are not aware of their incorrect behaviors' consequences. Hence, young offenders should have a chance to access proper education. Second, youth is the period when people strongly develop their thinking and lifestyle. Therefore, the state should give a new opportunity to young criminals, that can help them to become a better version. There are various stronger reasons to protest with this view. One of those is that there are a large number of young offenders who still learn at school, while many adults have been exposed to fully law. Therefore, the sentences for young people and adults should be different. In addition, there are a couple of sentences that criminals ought to be put into prison for many decades. Hence, if young offenders must serve those sentences, they can lose their future when they release. In conclusion, I absolutely protest with this idea, young people who commit crimes should be given a chance to retrain their behaviors and form a correct thought.
There are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggesting that youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
breach the law should
be served
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentence
that is
similar to mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
totally
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternative solutions that are better. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit a crime should not
be treated
the same way as adults.
First
, the root of crime is the lack of knowledge and awareness and there are a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not aware of their incorrect behaviors' consequences.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should have a chance to access proper education. Second, youth is the period when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strongly
develop their thinking and lifestyle.
Therefore
, the state should give a new opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
criminals, that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become a better version. There are various stronger reasons to protest with this view. One of those is that there are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
still
learn at school, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults have
been exposed
to
fully
law.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and adults should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
In addition
, there are a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
that criminals ought to
be put
into prison for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
serve those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sentences
, they can lose their future when they release.
In conclusion
, I
absolutely
protest with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
commit crimes should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
Did you mean "change"?
chance
to retrain their behaviors and form a correct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
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IELTS essay Young people who commit crimes should be treated the same way as adults.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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