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Young people want to have a life full of freedom and do not want to take advice of the elder people. Do you agree or disagree?

Young people want to have a life full of freedom and do not want to take advice of the elder people. VYbj6
Adulthood is considered to be the most enthusiastic era of life. It is being said and observed that young mature mind prefer to work in their own pace without interference of outsiders. They prioritize their independence over anything. In this essay, I agree to the statement and to justify the view relevant and reasonable examples with be provided. Firstly, as a matter of fact, freedom to fly like a bird in the limitless sky is everyone’s desire, so do the adults. With the fresh minds, comes a great deal of ideas. To take an example of a toddler, a simple duck bath toy would fascinate them to explore. They would inspect toy with every aspect regardless of several councelling sessions, similarly one can expect a series of tantrums if you question their freedom to buy a certain toy car. Moreover, one of the human right is freedom for everyone, has been practiced religiously in most of the foreign countries. Secondly, a functionally developed brain always desire to explore and implement new ideas to make things work more effectively. It has been evidently seen all around the world that a young adult mind prefer to learn with experiments rather than experiences. According to the human instinct, interference of any face is hard to inculcate whether it is from someone you admire or stranger. They could take inspiration but implement their mind out. In contradiction, impact of limitless freedom could be hazardous when it comes to certain decision, where an expert advice is truly the need of hour. To simplify, while learning driving elders presence and advice is inevitably essential. To conclude, use of rights should be practiced intelligently, independence comes with a great sense of responsibility. Sometimes learning through interference is all one could ask for to make things work exceptionally.
Adulthood
is considered
to be the most enthusiastic era of life. It is
being said
and observed that young mature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
prefer to work in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace without interference of outsiders. They prioritize their independence over anything. In this essay, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the statement and to justify the view relevant and reasonable examples with
be provided
.

Firstly
, as a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
fly
like a bird in the limitless sky is everyone’s desire,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
do the adults. With the fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
a great deal of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. To take an example of a toddler, a simple duck bath toy would fascinate them to explore. They would inspect toy with every aspect regardless of several
Possible spelling mistake found.
councelling
sessions,
similarly
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a series of tantrums if you question their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a certain toy car.
Moreover
, one of the human right is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
for everyone, has
been practiced
religiously
in most of the foreign countries.

Secondly
, a
functionally
developed brain always desire to explore and implement new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things work more
effectively
. It has been
evidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
all around the world that a young adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
prefer to learn with experiments
rather
than experiences. According to the human instinct, interference of any face is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to inculcate whether it is from someone you admire or stranger. They could take inspiration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
implement their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
out.

In contradiction, impact of limitless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
could be hazardous when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to certain decision, where
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "expert advice".
an expert advice
is
truly
the need of hour. To simplify, while learning driving elders presence and advice is
inevitably
essential.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of rights should
be practiced
intelligently
, independence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a great sense of responsibility.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
learning through interference is all one could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things work
exceptionally
.
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IELTS essay Young people want to have a life full of freedom and do not want to take advice of the elder people.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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