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the government should spend more money on environmental improving programs

the government should spend more money on environmental improving programs EdBrQ
Whether the government should spend more money on environmental improving programs or artistic supporting programs seems to be controversial. A number of people believe that the government should pay more attention on supporting artistic actions; however, I tend to believe that it is more reasonable for governors to spend more budget on environmental programs. I feel this way for two reasons which I would explode in what follows. To begin with, in my opinion, improving the public transportation is one of the most efficient actions that the government should spend a big part of their budget on it. When the government spend more money on progressing the public transportation, people will be motivated and encouraged to make use of their personal cars less rather than the past. Due to less making use of personal vehicles, traffic, air pollution, and even noise pollution will be decreased. As a result, the community will be healthier and more active. Also, by an advanced public transportation system, the government will be able to earn more money, and they can investigate their income in other sections such as cultural parts, educational parts, and economic parts. Another subtle point is that the government should informs some works on reducing the number of factories and industrial buildings that are harmful for the nature and exist surround of the cities. Produced pollutions by these factories can destroy animals’ habitats and plants. Animals have to leave their niches. As a result, the whole ecosystem will be destroyed, but by spending money on environmental improving programs the government can transfer some harmful factories to other areas that are really far away from rural and urban areas. These activities can help to increase more animals breeding and more green areas in the society. According to the reasons have been discussed in the preceding paragraphs. It can be claimed that it is more logical for the government to spend more money on environmental improving programs because by this activity they will build a more dynamic and healthier society.
Whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
or artistic supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
seems to be controversial. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay more attention on supporting artistic actions;
however
, I tend to believe that it is more reasonable for governors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. I feel this way for two reasons which I would explode in what follows.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the public transportation is one of the most efficient actions that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
part of their budget on it. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on progressing the public transportation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be motivated
and encouraged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their personal cars less
rather
than the past. Due to less making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal vehicles, traffic, air pollution, and even noise pollution will
be decreased
.
As a result
, the community will be healthier and more active.
Also
, by an advanced public transportation system, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will be able to earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and they can investigate their income in other sections such as cultural parts, educational parts, and economic parts.

Another subtle point is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "inform"
informs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
works on reducing the number of factories and industrial buildings that are harmful for the nature and exist surround of the cities. Produced pollutions by these factories can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
animals’ habitats and plants. Animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their niches.
As a result
, the whole ecosystem will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can transfer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful factories to other areas that are
really
far away from rural and urban areas. These activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase more animals breeding and more green areas in the society.

According to the reasons have
been discussed
in the preceding paragraphs. It can
be claimed
that it is more logical for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by this activity they will build a more dynamic and healthier society.
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IELTS essay the government should spend more money on environmental improving programs

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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