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Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech) .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). oVRLq
In recent decades, fashion brands have significantly affected the human lifestyle. Particularly, teenagers have expended most of their time and money catching the prevailing fashion trends. This essay is going to discuss both sides of the phenomenon before leaping to a reasonable conclusion. To begin with, in the time of dramatically thriving fashion industries, many brands evolve up-to-the-minute styles communicating a vast majority of followers. To be more specific, with the daily updating of style in clothes or technology, many brands such as Gucci, Dior, Apple, etc. utilize advertisements to attract customers' attention at first sight. For instance, the commercial videos on transmitted devices are pushing youngsters to afford the products with unacceptable prices which waste an amount of money. Another factor that should not be forgotten is promotion time. Specifically, spenders tend to purchase items on sale due to the lower price that brands provide. As a consequence, consumers waste their time on goods on promotion leading to postpone their works and reduce the productivity of projects. In contrast, youths are utilizing items as a motivation. For example, young people reward themselves for being diligent by affording their favorite things. Moreover, it encourages them to work in effective ways. Taking all things into consideration, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. To voice my perspective, I agree with the statement because it is time-consuming research.
In recent decades, fashion
brands
have
significantly
affected
the human lifestyle.
Particularly
,
teenagers
have expended most of their
time
and money catching the prevailing fashion trends. This essay is going to discuss both sides of the phenomenon
before
leaping to a reasonable conclusion.

To
begin
with, in the
time
of
dramatically
thriving fashion industries,
many
brands
evolve up-to-the-minute styles communicating a vast majority of followers. To be more specific, with the daily updating of style in clothes or technology,
many
brands
such as Gucci, Dior, Apple, etc. utilize advertisements to attract customers' attention at
first
sight.
For instance
, the commercial videos on transmitted devices are pushing youngsters to afford the products with unacceptable prices which waste an amount of money.

Another factor that should not
be forgotten
is promotion
time
.
Specifically
, spenders tend to
purchase
items on sale due to the lower price that
brands
provide. As a consequence, consumers waste their
time
on
goods
on promotion leading to postpone their works and
reduce
the productivity of projects.

In contrast
, youths are utilizing items as a motivation.
For example
, young
people
reward themselves for being diligent by affording their favorite things.
Moreover
, it encourages them to work in effective ways.

Taking all things into consideration, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. To voice my perspective, I
agree
with the statement
because
it is time-consuming research.
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IELTS essay Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech).

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
224 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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