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Young people spent to much money on expensive fashion brands and gadget these day, many of which are not necessary

Young people spent to much money on expensive fashion brands and gadget these day, many of which are not necessary gWAVd
In this day and age, overconsumption is a controversial problem, especially with young generations when they are buying too many expensive unnecessary goods and products from big brands. Although some people could deny that this might bring the world a variety of advantages, some still believe that it is an enormous problem. This essay will discuss why overconsumption in young generations is a crux and the actual state. First and foremost, fortunes and brands are often used by the elite as a form of status symbol amongst their friends and the middle class. Expensive goods also reflect their job, salary, or their position in society. These people consider expensive products as their personal value, or to identify themselves. As the result, people ended up trading numerous amounts of merchandise that causes them a fortune. Secondly, shopping or owning things could be found as an intoxicating activity, or a stress-relief method by anyone, especially the top class. The feeling of having something, or consuming goods somehow could help people cope with stress or depression. Furthermore, some of them are also dealing with mental illnesses such as shopaholics or CBD. Compulsive buying is one of their symptoms. They cannot stop consuming, buying things until they feel satisfied with the amount of shopping bags they have got. On the other hand, fast fashion trends, expensive products, or gadgets are sometimes a way for young people to enjoy their youth since we only live once. Big brands products such as Gucci clothes, shoes, or handbags could also be a big inspiration for young fashion designers. In addition, some people could spend a fortune on shopping, but can still provide themselves and their family a good life. For instance: people need higher quality phones to utilize up-to-date technology and functions, this would also mean that people need to pay a higher price for new products. In short, brand names and goods are considered as status- symbols for prosperous people. It is also a form of stress relief method to help people cope with depressions, mental illness. However, they are contributing to the problems of over consumption and climate change in our world
In this day and age, overconsumption is a controversial problem,
especially
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations when they are buying too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could deny that this might bring the world a variety of advantages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
believe that it is an enormous problem. This essay will discuss why overconsumption in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations is a crux and the actual state.

First
and foremost, fortunes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the elite as a form of status symbol amongst their friends and the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
also
reflect their job, salary, or their position in society. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as their personal value, or to identify themselves. As the result,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ended up trading numerous amounts of merchandise that causes them a fortune.

Secondly
, shopping or owning things could
be found
as an intoxicating activity, or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-relief method by anyone,
especially
the top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. The feeling of having something, or consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
somehow could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cope with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or depression.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are
also
dealing with mental illnesses such as shopaholics or CBD. Compulsive buying is one of their symptoms. They cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
consuming, buying things until they feel satisfied with the amount of shopping bags they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
fashion trends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, or gadgets are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy their youth since we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
once.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as Gucci clothes, shoes, or handbags could
also
be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
inspiration for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
fashion designers.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could spend a fortune on shopping,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
still
provide themselves and their family a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
life.
For instance
:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need higher quality phones to utilize up-to-date technology and functions, this would
also
mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to pay a higher price for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
names and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are considered
as status- symbols for prosperous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
also
a form of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cope with depressions, mental illness.
However
, they are contributing to the problems of over consumption and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in our world
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IELTS essay Young people spent to much money on expensive fashion brands and gadget these day, many of which are not necessary

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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