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Young people spend too much money on expensive fashion brands

Young people spend too much money on expensive fashion brands YMAr
These days, there are many young people who invest a lot of money on gorgeous fashion brands and costly gadgets. However, not all of them are necessary. From my perspective, I completely agree with this opinion, clothes are essential pieces of the human being but just need to be functional and at an affordable price. On the one hand, young people spend a huge amount of money on an item in order to chase the outside value. For instance, they are willing to spend more than 2000 dollars on sneakers from a famous brand, just to show them to all their friends. For functional purposes, it is almost the same as other brands which provide sneakers with cheaper prices. However, there is a reason for them to do so, they attempt to chase the outside value. Those expensive sneakers can help them be more confident in a specific community. However, it is still not necessary. Furthermore, they also buy clothes, gadgets too frequently, which causes a lot of issues in the recycling industry. More than 15 million tons of used textile waste is generated each year in the United States, and the amount has doubled over the last 20 years. It is not good news at all. On the other hand, the fashion industry keeps growing day by day. For the people who do related jobs to fashion, there are no problems when they invest too much money in their clothes. A gorgeous dress can help the singer enhance their performance on stage. However, for ordinary people, the clothes should be functional, comfortable at affordable prices. In conclusion, I think we should not spend too much money on expensive fashion brands, gadgets, which are not meaningful. We just keep life simple as it is. That lifestyle can protect our pocket and also help the environment.
These days, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on gorgeous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
and costly gadgets.
However
, not all of them are necessary. From my perspective, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are essential pieces of the human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to be functional and at an affordable price.

On the one hand, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on an item in order to chase the outside value.
For instance
, they are willing to spend more than 2000 dollars on sneakers from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them to all their friends. For functional purposes, it is almost the same as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
which provide sneakers with cheaper prices.
However
, there is a reason for them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they attempt to chase the outside value. Those expensive sneakers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them be more confident in a specific community.
However
, it is
still
not necessary.
Furthermore
, they
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, gadgets too
frequently
, which causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
issues in the recycling industry. More than 15 million tons of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
textile waste
is generated
each year in the United States, and the amount has doubled over the last 20 years. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
news at all.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
industry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
growing day by day. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do related jobs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, there are no problems when they invest too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. A gorgeous dress can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the singer enhance their performance on stage.
However
, for ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
should be functional, comfortable at affordable prices.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should not spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, gadgets, which are not meaningful. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
life simple as it is. That lifestyle can protect our pocket and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the environment.
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IELTS essay Young people spend too much money on expensive fashion brands

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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