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Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. V39K
These days, there are many artists who can monetize from their working that creates with their passion. In contrast, some artists are still work hard and contribute value to art in general but fewer people know them and the exposure is very limited due to various reasons. And that leads to the challenge is how they survive in their own life. In fact, the main factor to be the success of a creator in art is the quality of work and there is no one can help them in this aspect. However, I believe that the government should consider supporting art creators to survive so that they can continue to create and contribute value to the community. One of the most popular ways to support art creators is by spending money from a fund owned by particular government organization. There are many methods for art creators to get support, either publicly or privately, and even vote to get funding in an exhibition. For example, the Korean government, they willing to provide financial assistance to its art creator. Through a process to classify who needs to support, artists with little income will be able to receive as much as KRW 1 million per month, according to an announcement of the Korean government official website. But why the government needs to support art creators. Because art represents the culture of a country and community. It also sparks creativity and innovation. Also, art can give people emotions that can lift up their spirit and make them more driven than ever. Actually, we all do agree about the impact that art brings to us. Therefore, the assistance of government is necessary in order to keep those people who are doing art alive to continue to bring benefits to the community. In conclusion, the government totally has the ability in financial support for creators who are struggling to survive and it is necessary. And, in my opinion, besides the money, they can organize public exhibitions to increase art exposure to get more attraction from audiences, which also creates a meaningful playground for everyone to improve awareness through the art aspect.
These days, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
artists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can monetize from their working that creates with their passion.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
artists are
still
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and contribute value to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in general
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know them and the exposure is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited due to various reasons. And that leads to the challenge is how they survive in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life. In fact, the main factor to be the success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creator
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the quality of work and there is no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in this aspect.
However
, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creators
to survive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can continue to create and contribute value to the community.

One of the most popular ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creators
is by spending money from a fund
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
organization. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creators
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, either
publicly
or
privately
, and even vote to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
funding in an exhibition.
For example
, the Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
Did you mean "they're willing", "they are willing", or "they were willing"?
they willing
to provide financial assistance to its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creator
. Through a process to classify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
, artists with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
income will be able to receive as much as KRW 1 million per month, according to an announcement of the Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
official website.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creators
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
represents the culture of a country and community. It
also
sparks creativity and innovation.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
emotions that can
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
their spirit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more driven than ever. Actually, we all do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
about the impact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
brings to us.
Therefore
, the assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is necessary in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
alive to continue to bring benefits to the community.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
totally
has the ability in financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creators
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are struggling to survive and it is necessary. And, in my opinion,
besides
the money, they can organize public exhibitions to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exposure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more attraction from audiences, which
also
creates a meaningful playground for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
awareness through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
aspect.
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IELTS essay Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while other struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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