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Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can just be “fixed” by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved.

Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can just be “fixed” by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved. r7W2
These days, so many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine. In fact, visiting doctors is the choice of most patients. It’s efficient and quick to fix health problems. However, before getting sick, people should be aware of their health status by the annual check. Additionally, people can adopt a healthy lifestyle to avoid issues before it becomes serious. As a human being, most people are subjective about interpretation in terms of symptoms about their health. Those signals might be minor but it can cause critical diseases. That mindset might be formed by not being well-educated about diseases’ symptoms. Therefore, that mindset can be removed by education. Plus, the government or organizations should encourage everyone, especially older persons, to do annual checks. That action can help them to realize the symptoms sooner and give them a higher chance for diseases to be fixed. Additionally, besides annual checking, people should build up their habits or form a healthy lifestyle. For example, everyone should have good daily meals, avoiding ingredients that have chemicals, or eating less fast-food. Moreover, a frequent exercise plan is key to maintaining physical or mental health. Nevertheless, in order to keep maintaining a habit is hard but it can reduce the time and money spent in the hospital, which is valuable. In conclusion, when people get sick, visiting doctors are a suitable option. However, in my opinion, people should avoid diseases rather than only react when the illness becomes serious. Those solutions that I mentioned above are necessary for everyone in order to keep our health always healthy.
These days,
so
many
people
maintain their
health
by relying on doctors and medicine. In fact, visiting doctors is the choice of most patients. It’s efficient and quick to
fix
health
problems.
However
,
before
getting sick,
people
should be aware of their
health
status by the annual
check
.
Additionally
,
people
can adopt a healthy lifestyle to avoid issues
before
it becomes serious.

As a human being, most
people
are subjective about interpretation in terms of symptoms about their
health
. Those signals might be minor
but
it can cause critical
diseases
. That mindset might
be formed
by not being well-educated about
diseases’
symptoms.
Therefore
, that mindset can
be removed
by education. Plus, the
government
or organizations should encourage everyone,
especially
older persons, to do annual
checks
. That action can
help
them to realize the symptoms sooner and give them a higher chance for
diseases
to be
fixed
.

Additionally
,
besides
annual checking,
people
should build up their habits or form a healthy lifestyle.
For example
, everyone should have
good
daily meals, avoiding ingredients that have chemicals, or eating less
fast
-food.
Moreover
, a frequent exercise plan is key to maintaining physical or mental
health
.
Nevertheless
, in order to
keep
maintaining a habit is
hard
but
it can
reduce
the time and money spent in the hospital, which is valuable.

In conclusion
, when
people
get
sick, visiting doctors are a suitable option.
However
, in my opinion,
people
should avoid
diseases
rather
than
only
react when the illness becomes serious. Those solutions that I mentioned above are necessary for everyone in order to
keep
our
health
always healthy.
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IELTS essay Some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. They think all health problems can just be “fixed” by visiting doctors. What problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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