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young people spend thier time in shopping malls. this ahs negative effext on young people and soicety. to waht extent do you agee or disagree

young people spend thier time in shopping malls. this ahs negative effext on young people and soicety. to waht extent do you agee or disagree p2gm
It is indeed that everyone live in 21st centuruy. At this time young people prefer only malls shopping. However, young people pass their time in shopping malls. I agree with the statement. I will discuss this in upcoming paragraphs To begin with, in the present time most of people prefer malls shopping. a person do not prefer small shops because in malls many more new thing available such as clothes, mobile phone, shoes and many more things. and in these time person collected things according to trend. because young people used in this time different brand. Apart from this, in this time person prefer big malls shopping and person wast money day by day. person live in socity and face moe problems with friends then wast lot of money. To conclude, before my pen down in the present time most of the people prefer malls shopping all person thing that big mall shopping better these time.
It is
indeed
that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in 21st
Possible spelling mistake found.
centuruy
. At this
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time
young
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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malls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
However
, young
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people
pass their
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time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. I will discuss this in upcoming paragraphs

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the present
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time
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
do not
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prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more new thing available such as clothes, mobile phone, shoes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
collected things according to trend.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in this
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time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brand.

Apart from this, in this
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time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wast money day by day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
socity
and face
Possible spelling mistake found.
moe
problems with friends then wast
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my pen down in the present
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time
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
thing that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
better these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.

IELTS essay young people spend thier time in shopping malls. this ahs negative effext on young people and soicety. to waht extent do you agee or disagree

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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