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The government investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money . Government should invest these funds in public service instead .To what extent do you agree with this statement ?

The government investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead. b1jX
It is an acknowlegeable fact that it is thought by many people that authorities should spend a large part of budget not only on theatre, art and music but also on public service like hospital, education system. In this essay, I will explicate all the viewpoints in upcoming paragraphs along with relevant examples. To commence with, it is certainly true that if authority ought to invest on public services like parks, institutes and hospital, it would not only fruitful for local people but also for the nation. In other words, when all amenities provide to local people, it can be enhance the quality of their lives as well as become their nation name and fame. In America, for instance, the intensive study of journalism proved that their government allocate money on public services for the purposes of giving convenient lifestyles to local people. Hence it can be clearly seen that with the aid of funds people can obtain more amenities for their daily life. However, this does not mean that the arts should be completely overlooked. firstly, the arts, music and theatre play a vital role in human life. To elaborate, it is difficult for money theatre and arts institute to generate much profit. so without some aid from government that place may shutdown. Besides that, most people may go to theatre to get relaxed. for example, a survey conducted by Oxford University reported that one _ third of people who have in the habbit of theatre as well as take part in arts, which would be beneficial to shed extra burden. Thus, it has been that with the aid of investment in arts and theatre people can overcome their strees since these places are main source of entertainment for public. To conclude, it is quite clear that although it has lots of benefits of providing a large amount of money into public service. I donot believe spending money on arts is a waste of money, if it allocate wisely.
It is an
Possible spelling mistake found.
acknowlegeable
fact that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that authorities should spend a large part of budget not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
like hospital, education system. In this essay, I will explicate all the viewpoints in upcoming paragraphs along with relevant examples. To commence with, it is
certainly
true that if authority ought to invest on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
like parks, institutes and hospital, it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fruitful for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the nation.
In other words
, when all amenities provide to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it can be
Consider using the past participle "enhanced"?
enhance
the quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as well
as become their nation name and fame. In America,
for instance
, the intensive study of journalism proved that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
for the purposes of giving convenient lifestyles to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that with the aid of funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can obtain more amenities for their daily life.
However
, this does not mean that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should be completely overlooked.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
play a vital role in human life. To elaborate, it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
institute to generate much profit.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aid from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that place may shutdown.
Besides
that, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may go to
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, a survey conducted by Oxford University reported that one _ third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbit
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, which would be beneficial to shed extra burden.
Thus
, it has been that with the aid of investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can overcome
Possible spelling mistake found.
their strees
since these places are main source of entertainment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
To conclude
, it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that although it has lots of benefits of providing a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
believe spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, if it
Did you mean "allocates"?
allocate
wisely
.
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IELTS essay The government investment in arts, music and theatre is waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public service instead.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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