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Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and society. Do you agree or disagree?

Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and society. 1mBPM
Young adults believe that when they travel to other nations, it is beneficial for them as well as for the society of the host country. This essay agrees with this statement because visiting different countries enable them to learn about local people, and individual travellers help residents financially. Firstly, travelling to other nations gives young travellers a chance to explore other cultures and traditions. Their visits help them to understand people and clarify many myths about a nation they had before. Therefore, they are more likely to respect other religions and peoples’ viewpoint. To illustrate, a recent study by Cambridge University found that young adults who went to a foreign trip are more likely to respect other people and culture. However, sometimes young people have to face a difficult situation in other nations as they do not know local traditions and customs. Secondly, when people visit foreign countries, this helps local people in terms of income. This is because travellers spend money on accommodation, food and visiting tourist attractions. This generates employment opportunities to locals and residents are able to earn a good income by providing services to tourists. For example, my friend who lives in Manali, a prominent tourist spot, owns a business and his company provides different types of services, like visiting hotspots, river rafting, to tourists by charging a nominal fee. This has helped him to earn a very good income. However, visitors should be aware that some people might try to overcharge them for the services. In conclusion, youngsters travelling to other countries benefit them and local people because young people get a chance to see foreign culture and their visit actually provides monetary assistance to residents.
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Young
adults believe that when they travel to
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other
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nations
, it is beneficial for them
as well
as for the society of the host
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country
. This essay
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agrees
with this statement
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because
visiting
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different
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countries
enable them to learn about
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local
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people
, and individual
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travellers
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help
residents
financially
.

Firstly
, travelling to
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other
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nations
gives
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young
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travellers
a chance to explore
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other
cultures and traditions. Their visits
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help
them to understand
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people
and clarify
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many
myths about a
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nation
they had
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before
.
Therefore
, they are more likely to respect
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other
religions and
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peoples’
viewpoint. To illustrate, a recent study by Cambridge University found that
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young
adults who went to a foreign trip are more likely to respect
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other
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people
and culture.
However
,
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sometimes
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young
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people
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have to
face a difficult situation in
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other
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nations
as they do not know
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local
traditions and customs.

Secondly
, when
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people
visit foreign
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countries
, this
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helps
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local
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people
in terms of income. This is
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because
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travellers
spend money on accommodation, food and visiting
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tourist
attractions. This generates employment opportunities to
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locals
and residents are able to earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income by providing services to
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tourists
.
For example
, my friend who
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lives
in
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Manali
, a prominent
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tourist
spot,
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owns
a business and his
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company
provides
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different
types of services, like visiting hotspots, river rafting, to
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tourists
by charging a nominal fee. This has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him to earn a
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very
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good
income.
However
, visitors should be aware that
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some
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people
might try to overcharge them for the services.

In conclusion
, youngsters travelling to
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other
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countries
benefit them and
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local
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people
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because
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young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
foreign culture and their visit actually provides monetary assistance to residents.
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IELTS essay Young people say that travelling to different countries benefits them and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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