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Young people say that traveling to different countries benefits them and the society.

Young people say that traveling to different countries benefits them and the society. 0Kdl
Undoubtedly, globalization and trade barriers remove traveling issues worldwide. Some adult folks opine that when they travel to other nations it is beneficial for them as well as the community whereas others believe that it is complete wastage of time and money. I do not completely accord with the argument and discuss both views before forming my notion. On the constructive side, there are a plethora of benefits when people travel abroad. Firstly, numerous individual commuted to various places to explore the culture and tradition of people. Moreover, young masses travel to foreign for their higher study and learn the different languages. Secondly, many people get jobs in other countries which are advantageous for their career and they earn more money overseas. For instance, when someone got a job opportunity in another country they are able to take their family with them. Furthermore, their children can learn foreign language and rituals of that nation. On the other hand, a number of people argue that there are enormous drawbacks when youngsters visit to abroad. However, they involved in bad activities because no one is there to supervise them which is harmful for their career. Apart from this, some parents think they are not earning yet and when they travel it is total wastage of money and time. Even, adults face a lot of problems during travel such as food and language problems. The most imperative thing is that they believe internet has brought the whole world into their bedroom, so they should other useful work instead of travelling. In conclusion, I firmly believe commuting to foreign has essential advantages for the youth as far as they travel to broaden their horizons and to experience new places. But if they travel for fun and entertainment that is not beneficial for them.
Undoubtedly
, globalization and trade barriers remove traveling issues worldwide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
adult folks opine that when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations it is beneficial for them
as well
as the community whereas others believe that it is complete wastage of time and money. I do not completely accord with the argument and discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming my notion.

On the constructive side, there are a plethora of benefits when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad.
Firstly
, numerous individual commuted to various places to explore the culture and tradition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, young masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to foreign for their higher study and learn the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries which are advantageous for their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
career and
they earn more money overseas.
For instance
, when someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a job opportunity in another country they are able to take their family with them.
Furthermore
, their children can learn foreign language and rituals of that nation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that there are enormous drawbacks when youngsters visit to abroad.
However
, they involved in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one is there to supervise them which is harmful for their career. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are not earning
yet
and when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
it is total wastage of money and time. Even, adults face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
such as food and language problems. The most imperative thing is that they believe internet has brought the whole world into their bedroom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
useful work
instead
of travelling.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe commuting to foreign has essential advantages for the youth as far as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to broaden their horizons and to experience new places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for fun and entertainment
that is
not beneficial for them.
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IELTS essay Young people say that traveling to different countries benefits them and the society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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