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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? BBNw
The role of commercial advertisements is widely debated nowadays, with some people claiming that it indeed encourages us to buy more unnecessary stuff and others say that advertisements inform us about the new products. Personally, I feel that advertising is a way of marketing and makes us spend more money on the things that we don't need. Firstly, randomly poped-up advertisements can greatly affect how young people shop. Advertisements often show up when we watch TV, Youtube or even listening to radios. Most of the time, we cannot control the ads to pop up and we do not have the option to skip them. We are forced to listen/ watch it even the products they are introducing is not something we need. Youngsters are often encouraged to buy more stuff that they do not need because most of the young people do not have a proper financial plan and their buying decision sometimes might not be logical enough. On the other hand, advertisements is one of the marketing strategies when a company introducing a new product or want to boost sales. The companies often collect and analyze their customer-base data to target the platforms, age group and location. Most people noticed that if you search for something online, the other social media platforms will automatically show similar products. For example, when I searched for earrings on Google and if I go to Youtube or Instagram or Facebook, there will be different ads about earrings. I think this is a business strategy and it is a way of making you spend more. Finally, the products from commercial advertisements sometimes are too good to be true. The ads on TV often use an exaggerated way to describe the benefits of the products, however, they often don't say what are the downside or disadvantage of the good. They usually use a strong and attractive phrase or hire a famous actor/ signer to promote the products as well. So I think the companies are delivering a false image of their products and trying to make more sales. I do appreciate some people think differently, saying that advertisements tell us about the new products that can improve our lives. While getting to know a new product is good, but I feel that knowing a product through ads is not logical enough and some researches on the product might present a better way. Overall, I believe that advertisements encouraged people to buy more unnecessary stuff that we don't need. Ads can confuse how youngsters spend money, promote similar products by analyzing data and hide the downside of the products.
The role of commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is
widely
debated nowadays, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming that it
indeed
encourages us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more unnecessary stuff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
inform us about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Personally
, I feel that advertising is a way of marketing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us spend more money on the things that we don't need.

Firstly
,
randomly
Possible spelling mistake found.
poped-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can
greatly
affect how young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shop.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
or even listening to radios. Most of the time, we cannot control the ads to pop
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
up and
we do not have the option to skip them. We
are forced
to listen/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they are introducing is not something we need. Youngsters are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
encouraged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more stuff that they do not need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have a proper financial plan and their buying decision
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
might not be logical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is one of the marketing strategies when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
introducing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or want to boost sales. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
collect and analyze their customer-base data to target the platforms, age group and location. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
noticed that if you search for something online, the other social media platforms will
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, when I searched for earrings on Google and if I go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
or Instagram or Facebook, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ads about earrings. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a business strategy and it is a way of making you spend more.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
The adverb 'sometimes' usually goes after the verb 'are'.
sometimes are
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be true. The ads on TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an exaggerated way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
however
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
don't say what are the downside or disadvantage of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. They
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a strong and attractive phrase or hire a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actor/ signer to promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are delivering a false image of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more sales.

I do appreciate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
, saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While getting to know a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I feel that knowing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
through ads is not logical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researches on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
might present a better way.

Overall
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
encouraged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more unnecessary stuff that we don't need. Ads can confuse how youngsters spend money, promote similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by analyzing data and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
the downside of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
433 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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