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Young people prefer playing video games

Young people prefer playing video games Q5DOL
It's so men young people are utterly indulged in playing video games especially those with excellent visual effects. As a teenager, I was and am falling in love with video games. Due to you can show all the things we wish and wished and bring everywhere we want and wanted to go. To consider widely, this could be playing shooting games to killing zombies alone. How could we deny the impossible things we dreamed to do in real life? It is quite strange that almost all mothers don't like to see her sons playing video games but some fathers do likely. Because of this, it becomes quite difficult to explain why we are playing and your school scores aren't affect. Unfortunately, they did understand for a while. In fact, it usually doesn't last so long. On the other hand, we, been a child with the craziest imaginations, from fighting with tigers to jumping from the mountain clip off. Those are extremely dangerous. Survival chance from a single mistake is almost nothing. To be illustrated, skydiving is so crucial to people like me who have hyper-phobia. Our hearts could stop beating because of our fear and anxiety. We wouldn't re-alive if we died. In video games, we can choose where to jump and how many times we want to. Although we explained our utmost, they do really don't like and allow, officially. Not only they hate as enjoying games at home but also don't permit to be at stations. They usually saw boys played video games as drag addicted men. It set us to keep our goals inwardly. Definitely, parents don't like a gamer child without a doubt. They want you to study harder and believe that games could damage your school level. You have to give your stupid dreams up. From the corner of a child, they become so oppressive and restricted to them. This cause them to think that they should allow their activities without asking how dangerous they are. For a win-win situation, negotiation is the best answer. Parents should reduce their pressure that they really didn't notice. Children should explain what they are going to do, well. Sometimes, we can set subterfuge but telling them how safe your games and do your exercises well are the best solutions. For me, I told them that I am going to library, but I was on the station.
It's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
utterly
indulged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
especially
those with excellent visual effects. As a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, I was and
Did you mean "am I"?
am
falling in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Due to you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
all the things we wish and wished and bring everywhere we want and wanted to go. To consider
widely
, this could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
shooting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to killing zombies alone. How could we deny the impossible things we dreamed to do in real life?

It is quite strange that almost all mothers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
her sons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fathers do likely.
Because of this
, it becomes quite difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
and your school scores aren't affect. Unfortunately, they did understand for a while. In fact, it
usually
doesn't last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long.

On the other hand
, we, been a child with the craziest imaginations, from fighting with tigers to jumping from the mountain clip off. Those are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. Survival chance from a single mistake is almost nothing. To
be illustrated
, skydiving is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like me who have hyper-phobia. Our hearts could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
beating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our fear and anxiety. We wouldn't re-alive if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, we can choose where to jump and how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times we want to.

Although we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
our utmost, they do
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
like and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
,
officially
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they hate as enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
permit to be at stations. They
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
boys played
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
as drag addicted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. It set us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our goals
inwardly
.

Definitely, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
like a gamer child without a doubt. They want you to study harder and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could damage your school level. You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give your stupid dreams up. From the corner of a child, they become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
oppressive and restricted to them. This cause them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their activities without asking how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
they are.

For a win-win situation, negotiation is the best answer. Parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their pressure that they
really
didn't notice. Children should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what they are going to do, well.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, we can set subterfuge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
telling them how safe your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and do your exercises well are the best solutions. For me, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
them that I am going to library,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was on the station.
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IELTS essay Young people prefer playing video games

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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