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Young people like pop stars and famous movie stars rather than famous people in history of their country. Why? Solution?

Young people like pop stars and famous movie stars rather than famous people in history of their country. Why? Solution? obybb
In this day and age, youngster pay attention to entertaining celebrities instead of historic people in their countries. In this essay, this phenomenon will be analyzed and measures to solve this problem will be given. There are various reason lead to youngster's carelessness for historic people. To begin with, they would prefer to enjoy famous people entertainment shows rather than learning about historic events. Due to the fact that, humans ought to struggle to memorizing information about the individual and events in history. As a result, young people hate learning history and spend more time on entertaining. In addition, humans are likely to be easier to remember the features of celebrities living in the present than the past. This mean almost individuals may not remember about the feature of the pastime characters. For instance, The Rock a famous actor, he is bodybuilder and used to appear with muscular outline and it is the most easiest features to be remembered. On the contrary, schools and parents could take responsibility for solving this problem and figure out solutions. Firstly, At schools, pupils should be taught and emphasized more about history individuals and events. In this way, this method will support children to establish a good habit and right perception about history. Therefore, schools could directly encourage youngster to search more historic information. Furthermore, parents might inspire for their kids to learn and gain more knowledge of historic characters. Since at the young age young people have not got willing to find out popular people in the past. Consequently, parents could help youngster to grow the passion of history. In conclusion, this trend is occurring complexly and would cause to an adverse conclusion. Nevertheless, schools and parents could take action to solve this.
In this day and age, youngster pay attention to entertaining celebrities
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their countries. In this essay, this phenomenon will
be analyzed
and measures to solve this problem will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

There are various reason lead to youngster's carelessness for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they would prefer to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
rather
than learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Due to the fact that, humans ought to struggle to memorizing information about the individual and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
As a result
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hate learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and spend more time on entertaining.
In addition
, humans are likely to be easier to remember the features of celebrities living in the present than the past. This mean almost individuals may not remember about the feature of the pastime characters.
For instance
, The Rock a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actor, he is bodybuilder and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to appear with muscular outline and it is the
Use only "easiest" (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
most easiest
features to
be remembered
.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could take responsibility for solving this problem and figure out solutions.
Firstly
, At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, pupils should
be taught
and emphasized more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. In this way, this method will support children to establish a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit and right perception about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
could
directly
encourage youngster to search more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
information.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
might inspire for their kids to learn and gain more knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
characters.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
at the young age young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
willing to find out popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youngster to grow the passion of history.

In conclusion
, this trend is occurring
complexly
and would cause to an adverse conclusion.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could take action to solve this.
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IELTS essay Young people like pop stars and famous movie stars rather than famous people in history of their country. Why? Solution?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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