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talk about immigrants affect for the cities

talk about immigrants affect for the cities Xygo8
As a matter of fact, we all agree that migration is one of the most important issues. So, we can shed more light on migration. In my opinion I would like to say that migrants are changing life in the cities. Sometimes they change it for the better and sometimes they change it for the worse. For example, Dubai immigrants change it for the better. It has become an international city and loved by tourists. Also, there are some cities migrants change it for the worse. For example, Islamic counties that have been changed by immigrants for the worse as immigrants have affected Islam in them and are doing their jobs without resorting to law and Islam.
As a matter of fact, we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that migration is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we can shed more light on migration. In my opinion I would like to say that migrants are changing life in the cities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it for the better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it for the worse.
For example
, Dubai immigrants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it for the better. It has become an international city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
by tourists.
Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cities migrants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
it for the worse.
For example
, Islamic counties that have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by immigrants for the worse as immigrants have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
Islam in them and are doing their jobs without resorting to law and Islam.
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IELTS essay talk about immigrants affect for the cities

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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