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Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportinuties are scarce.

Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportinuties are scarce. 6m62j
Nowadays, young people are often get suffer when job opportunities are scarce. It is usually happened with all age groups. This essay will argue why this is happen and discuss how to deal with this problem. Out of all argument, the strongest one to prove my view is that, in competative era all humankind find job with batter salaries. To be more precise, many people tend to fine jobs which has higher value in market as well as batter lifestyle. Secondly, companies only hire freshers to increase their profit. The main prominent reason is that young people have more knowledge of recent technologies so they have higher chance to get job as compared to old people. For example, it can be seen by the growing number of freshers in India who failed to get job after their graduation. On the other side, some people believe that every person have right to find any types of job at any age. In other words, companies cannot judge any mankind with their age. Firstly, old people have great amount of experience and with help of it they find most off solution easily. Besides that, they can also help youth to solve problem with less effort. Secondly, government should spend money on seminars to educate people about the importance of job at any age. Perhaps they shold also introduce some new rules to employment. For example, many large companies such as google and microsoft, they can hire employee at any age. To conclude, this essay will acknowledges that how young people are suffer from getting job and employment. I personally think that companies hire employee at any age.
Nowadays, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
suffer when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities are scarce. It is
usually
happened with all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. This essay will argue why this is
Consider using a past participle here: "happened".
happen
and discuss how to deal with this problem.

Out of all argument, the strongest one to prove my view is that, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
competative
era all humankind find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with batter salaries. To be more precise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to fine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which has higher value in market
as well
as batter lifestyle.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hire freshers to increase their profit. The main prominent reason is that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more knowledge of recent technologies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have higher chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the growing number of freshers in India who failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after their graduation.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that every person have right to find any types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
cannot judge any mankind with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have great amount of experience and with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of it they find most off solution
easily
.
Besides
that, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
youth to solve problem with less effort.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on seminars to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Perhaps they
Possible spelling mistake found.
shold
also
introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to employment.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
such as google and
Possible spelling mistake found.
microsoft
, they can hire employee at any age.

To conclude
, this essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "acknowledge"
acknowledges
that how young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are suffer from getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and employment. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
hire employee at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
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IELTS essay Young people are often the first to suffer when job opportinuties are scarce.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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