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a study claims that people who overuse social media often feel isolated

a study claims that people who overuse social media often feel isolated O6rq7
The internet helps people meet new people and socialize in the screen. Some people think this has brought people closer together, while the others thing the internet has a detrimental effect on people’s social live. There is a common belief that has brought people closer together. Firstly, maybe people believe that social media sites, such as facebook, allow people to meet more new friend. Groups on the internet are easily extended through friend request and mutual friends. secondly, this is the easier to keep in contact with friends and family members from anywhere in the world. This is the fastest way to sent mail than writing letters, the the telephone calls are expensive. By using the social media, it is free and agile. On the other hand, I would argue that thing the internet has a detrimental effect on people’s social live. The most significant reason for this is that smartphone are frequently overused. The phone brings many harm. Affect to health. For example: brain, fat, passive, depression. Many accident on streets by use the phone. this result in a lack of face to face communication. This will make people passive than active in talk. It is also clear that facebook friends are unlikely to provide emotional support during times of need. When people are feeling depressed or alone, they need their close friends around them. One real friend is more important than a thousand social media contacts In conclusion, I think that the internet has the benefit and affect. That helps people make friend easier and instant mailing but somepeople are dangerous, take advantage to cheat, make money. Overuse the phone will make lazy, attack to health.
The internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and socialize in the screen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer together, while the others thing the internet has a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

There is a common belief that has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer together.
Firstly
, maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media sites, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
more new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. Groups on the internet are
easily
extended through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
request and mutual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, this is the easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and family members from anywhere in the world. This is the fastest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
mail than writing letters,
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
telephone calls are expensive. By using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, it is free and agile.

On the other hand
, I would argue that thing the internet has a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. The most significant reason for this is that smartphone are
frequently
overused. The phone brings
Possible agreement error. The noun harm seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much harm", "a good deal of harm".
many harm
. Affect to health.
For example
: brain,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, passive, depression.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
accident on streets by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the phone.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
result in a lack of face to face communication. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use "(passive)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
passive
than active in talk. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are unlikely to provide emotional support during times of need. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are feeling depressed or alone, they need their close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
around them. One real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than a thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media contacts

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the internet has the benefit and affect. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
easier and instant mailing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
somepeople
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, take advantage to cheat,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money. Overuse the phone will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
lazy, attack to health.
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IELTS essay a study claims that people who overuse social media often feel isolated

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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